Tuesday, May 31, 2005

How I Got Here, Part 62


Welcome back from the long weekend, BGs. Hope y’all had a marvelous break. I certainly did. We went up to Coeur d’Alene, and the weather was absolutely glorious. Everything on the property is so green, we got the boat in the water, and generally kicked back. Well, on Sunday, that is. On Saturday I interviewed some absolutely wonderful folks up north of Cd’A, who were gracious enough to grant me their time on a holiday weekend. I have more of a sense of direction for my Paige book now. That is the good news. The bad news is, with that more accurate sense of direction, I must do some rewriting on what’s already written.

I don’t have time for this.

Sigh.

C.J. asked on Friday what it is I like about writing now. Is it always just hard getting books written? Yes, it is. I struggle with it constantly. But I so strongly believe this is what God has called me to do, that I can do nothing else but trust Him when I run into trouble.

Which is daily.

And Becky asked some interesting questions about cliffhangers, and why Friday’s hook seemed to work so well when y’all don’t even know the character who was introduced as part of the hook. We shall talk about such things soon. That is, when our NES is done. So I guess you shouldn’t exactly hold your breath.

Okay, speaking of NES. We were waiting for that one word that God spoke to me about this young woman. She was one of a group of four who’d asked me to pray for them. “Whatever God tells you,” they’d said. What was the word that hit me so hard in the chest?

WORTHY.

Huh?

I must explain here. Huh? is a typical response for me when God particularly tells me how to pray for a person. Most of the time what He tells me makes absolutely no sense to me. Like the time I was praying for someone who had healing issues with both knees after double knee surgery. God also impressed upon me to place my hands on the person’s throat and pray for that. So I did, even though this made no sense to me. What’s a throat got to do with knee surgery? Only after that did I hear that this person was having real health issues with the throat as well.

See, God knows.

So I heard this word: worthy. I didn’t doubt it was coming from God. I just didn’t have a clue what it meant. I told the young woman what I’d heard. “Does this mean anything to you?” I asked.

This is the moment that absolutely got my heart. This sweet-faced Christian gal looked up at me with an anguished expression and said, “I’ve never felt worthy since the day I was born.”

Whoa. How awful that must feel. What a weight! God wanted to heal that.

And so prayers went up that God would. And I know He’s been working in this person’s life since then.

That scene wouldn’t leave me alone in the weeks to come. I began to think of other people I’d prayed for with emotional/spiritual issues, and God opened my eyes to just how huge this problem is among Christians. It’s rampant. Satan spins his web of lies among us all the time. He wants us to believe these lies. And he spins them so quietly, so subconsciously, that we Christians don’t realize where they’re coming from. Lies such as: I’m not worthy, I’m not really forgiven, I’m unlovable, I can’t do this task God gave me, I’m no good at this or that, I’m not smart enough, I’m not appreciated enough . . . Whatever. The topics are endless.

We as Christians have the mind-boggling authority to go before God’s throne and claim His help and power in our lives for anything. As the Bible says, “If He is for us, who can stand against us?” But so much of the time, we Christians don’t do that. Instead, we begin to listen to these lies. Then we begin to believe them. Then we begin to walk in them. And then we can’t do all that God has called us to do.

These thought processes and revelations were going through my mind as I needed to start writing Web of Lies. I realized that this was the spiritual thread God wanted me to weave in. We Christians cannot walk in the lies of Satan. That’s unacceptable! God had used that time of prayer not only for the young woman, but for my writing as well. (God’s very efficient that way.)

Look where God had brought me with this book—and totally backwards, remember that? First, the title that I just had to come up with. Then the plot begin to come—the story to fit the title. Then the spiritual thread—again to fit the title. A book about spiders . . . and not listening to Satan’s web of lies.

Hm. That is one interesting combination. Far too intriguing for me to come up with on my own. Only God, with somewhat of a sense of humor, would impress upon me to write a story about walking His truth—via a menagerie of spiders.

Well, hey. The last book used a serial killer to remind folks about the power of prayer. So why not?

Okay, some major hurdles overcome. Now to the next one.

I had to write the book. And I was majorly running out of time.


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Read Part 63

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Brandilyn for addressing another very important issue in your blog: LIES. I believed a lie similar to "unworthy" for most of the first 35 years of my life: "I'm not good enough." I worked very hard to try to hide my "inferiority" from others. I burned out at the age of 26 and spent the next nine years battling major clinical depression.

Medication, psychotherapy, and shock treatments couldn't bring me out of that dark pit. I fianlly gained God's freedom when I learned about spiritual warfare and prayed the "Steps To Freedom in Christ" (in Neil Anderson's "The Bondage Breaker")and discovered the lies I had believed my entire life and replaced them with God's truth (my Christian counsellor directed me in prayer counselling and the Holy Spirit revealed these lies and replaced them with God's truth).

I was completely set free from life-threatening depression. Six years have past and i remain FREE INDEED!

Tina said...

Wow! I can't wait until Web of Lies is released. What a great spiritual theme, and one I haven't personally seen in Christian fiction. That's what I've been impressed with most in your books--the strong Christian messages and characters who rely on scripture and prayer. No sprinkled-in spirituality for you. God is the foundation of your books.

md said...

Brandilyn, your post today brought me to tears. I, too, struggle with the battle to overcome feelings of unworthiness. I recently had a very exciting and positive meeting with an editor. After the meeting I couldn't stop thinking, "Why should something this good happen to me?" It's a daily struggle to resist the whispering lies that thread their way into my heart. For the past few weeks I've had an increased desire to be in the word. What a thrill to be drawn to Him. Thanks for all that you share with us. Your blessing your BGs more than you know.

D. Gudger said...

Ditto. I've been away a week interviewing for and accepting a job with an international missions organization. I'll be writing grants and articles.
How timely your post! Yesterday I was plagued by "not worthy" messages in my head and my hubby had to pray for me against the attack.
Powerful stuff! Can't wait for WEB -and spiders are the SCARIEST things known to man (or woman)

I would also really love to hear how you piece your plots together and do the scientific/forensic type research.

Lynette Sowell said...

Dontcha just love rewriting? Blech. Which is why I'm going to take Deb Raney's rewriting track at the ACFW conference in September.

About worthiness: You've got that right. I signed my first contract not quite two weeks ago, and just got the first half of my advance today. I'm sitting here thinking, "You puddin' head--now you've really got to get it right!" There are so many other writers I can think of who are just as talented or deserving to be in my position--many more so, probably! And it's like you wonder when They (proverbial They, capitalized) will see what a farce you are. :)

Kelly K said...

Web of Lies will be your best book yet. God is SO awesome! The bride needs it. Satan has stolen, killed and destroyed enough. Can't wait to read it.

Domino said...

Thank you, Brandilyn.

I plan to re-read some of the archives to study your cliffhanging techniques. We all groan at the end of the day's post, waiting for the answer to the question you leave us with.

C.J. Darlington said...

Dittos to what everyone else said. :-) Great stuff.

Camy Tang said...

WOW Brandilyn. I didn't realize how powerfully all those elements came together for this book. That is such an important message. I went through Neil Anderson's "Stomping Out the Darkness" with my church youth group high school girls, and I myself learned a lot about the lies I didn't even realize I was believing. This will be a groundbreaking novel.

Jacob Glidewell said...

Thank you so much for doing this, telling your story. It is incouraging for me, a young writer, to see that it is difficult but worth all the trouble--and the painful rewrites--to be published and to get your voice out there. I love to tell stories and whether I make money or not, that's what I want to do with my life. Thank you again for your encouragement. I love forensic science and crime stories. It's also nice to know that I'm not alone in my slightly morbid fascination!