Monday, July 24, 2006

From Here to Reality

As you know, Brandilyn has a houseful of talented authors attending a much-needed relaxing, spiritual, restorative weekend … ok, who am I kidding? Y’all know we’re having a wild, fun-filled brainstorming retreat. Complete with sore ribs, tears and coughing spells from laughing so hard we can’t breathe … she really does live up to her trademark, doesn’t she? Though it’s not like we forgot to breathe, it’s just that we can’t breathe.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes.

Of course, well all begged Brandilyn for an opportunity to post to her blog. I mean, who wouldn’t? So, being the fair-minded and gracious hostess that she is, we had to draw straws to see who won this amazing break into celebritydom. I can’t begin to tell you how honoured (yes that’s how you spell it where I come from), humbled, and just down right tickled I am to be writing this since I have the secrets y’all wanna know.

First off, I could find no red hair dye anywhere in the house. Yes folks, she’s a natural red head as opposed to a bottled one … and I’m not talking about ketchup here. Second, she really does have green eyes (if you’re a Christy judge, I apologize). Third, she has perfect toes. Each painted little piggy is a faultless as the next! While she can’t quite stick her tongue out as far as our visiting Southern Belle, she has does have a knack for making faces. I’d love to post one of the pics I took, but I’m sure she’d nix that pretty quick. Y’all will have to sit at your computers, banging the keyboard, chanting, “Show me the money—err, image!!” Perhaps, with all the racket she will relent… though after this weekend, I doubt she’ll ever be able to hear again.

But seriously, I think I’ve digressed.

What I really wanted to talk about was the surreal events of this afternoon. Yes, I know there are so many things worth sharing, but I do believe this will give you some insight into your fearless blogger.

Brandilyn and I decided to slip into town to visit one of my favourite (yes, that’s how we spell that word, too) stores and pick up some fans. Did you know Idaho is having a heat wave and it’s 100+ degrees here? Anyway, she asks if I would like to see the real “Simple Pleasures” store she has in her book, Violet Dawn. I heartily agree – mostly because the heat from the street is melting my feet. We duck inside a moderate sized store, with shimmery things that we both ooh and aah over. My mother always told me it’s the crow in me that likes shiny things. I don’t think anyone has ever said that to Brandilyn.

As we step a little farther into the store, we are greeted by Marilyn, who is warm and friendly. I say how I had hoped to see Paige here today and the woman advises me it is the girl’s day off. I’m a little taken aback as I am expecting merely a polite chuckle. Marilyn then apologizes that Sarah has left for the day.

So, now I feel a little uneasy. After all, Paige and Sarah are merely characters in a book.

Quickly my uneasiness passes. Now I just feel categorically freaked. Yep, I’ve stepped into some twilight zone for Brandilyn says, “Marilyn, this is Bev Trexel. Bailey has her blogging too."

Marilyn seems genuinely pleased to meet me and states she has heard about me. Next she asks how long I taught school and then how did Angie and I meet. Now it’s one thing to play act with your friends when you’re 8, but there’s something downright strange when you’re into double digits. Eventually, Brandilyn has things to discuss and so I slip away from the conversation which seems to have transcended back to reality.

But it was short-lived.

“Don’t you think that would look good on Bailey’s wall?” Brandilyn asks.

I nod.

“Angie tried some of that cream caramel you are looking at. She loved it so much, she bought 2 jars. Has she let you try it yet?”

I inconspicuously glance over my shoulder with one of those “you talkin’ to me?” looks. Apparently she is, cuz there ain’t no one behind me. I reply, “I’ve never seen nor tasted anything like it.”

Marilyn pulls out some pretzel sticks and opens two jars – one cream caramel, one raspberry caramel – and insists we try some.

Oh, man they are delicious!

“I bet Bailey could use the cream caramel in her macchiato. That would save her from making it from scratch.” Brandilyn smiles at me like it’s the most normal thing to come out of her mouth since we all arrived. Of course, even with the “I kill people for a living” comment made to Larry the air conditioner repairman last week, this line is still scarier.

Before I can react, the little bell over the door chimes and in walk some customers. I’m actually relieved. Now things will return to normal and we can slip out. Marilyn follows us to the door and as she approaches the customers she says, “Welcome to Kanner Lake. Is there something I can help you with?”


~michelle pendergrass said...

That song is running through my head, "Help I'm stepping into the Twilight Zone, this place is a madhouse, feels like being cloned..." Golden Earing, I believe it was?

Anonymous said...

Who is our guest commenter? That is when she's not Bev. Or is she angie or Sarah or ??? Follow the white rabbit - or is it the yellow brick road... Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Lynette Sowell said...

I just love imaginary friends and the real ones who play along... :)

Shannon McNear said...

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Do you know there are people who don't realize this is FICTION???

C.J. Darlington said...

Okay ... what exactly are you guys drinking up there in Idaho? Is the water safe?

Refreshment in Refuge said...

Yes, but the question of the day is WHO?

Illuminating Fiction said...

It's obviously someone who knows how to use correct English (honoured, favourite). I must say, it is refreshing to see someone who writes my language. ;-)

Whoever it is, they come from a British English background. Their use of "Y'all" confuses me. That's very American.