Monday, November 06, 2006
My Dear Gobdrip:
It is with much applause and mentoring pride that I congratulate you on the recent public humiliation of your patient. You were given an immensely important assignation, one that not just any fiend would be awarded, and I am pleased to see the depths to which you’ve taken it. You bided your time well as I suggested, working within the patient’s secret mind, even as you allowed him to lead the hue and cry for the Enemy. Some of your younger fellow fiends may have questioned the methods, but now the proof of our cunning is clear. High accomplishments in the name of the Enemy, and over many years, can be blackened in one stunning moment. And, as you know, this particular success ripples far beyond merely you and your patient.
First, all humans who have succumbed to the Enemy are affected. By their very stance in the Enemy’s camp, they stand readily accusable by those who serve Our Father. See—another hypocrite fallen. Are not all of them as such? Humans are most predictable in this regard: they will forego judgment of all the earthly gluttonies put together in the face of hypocrisy. As a result, the accusations against your patient can ring around the world with little to no thought as to the inherent behavior of the human making those accusations. And your own patient stands far less condemned for his apparent gratifying of passions than for his concurrent loud denouncement of the same.
Second, many who follow the Enemy, particularly those brought into his camp by your patient, may be led to feel a sense of betrayal. This can quickly be followed by doubt of the Enemy and all for which he stands. Such progression occurs when a patient is taught to focus on the disturbing actions of the fellow human rather than the qualities of our Enemy himself. There is nothing logical in this, of course. Why should the betrayed feel any less vulnerable to passions than his fallen fellow? And why should human weakness--hardly a new discovery--alter the personhood of the Enemy, who existed long before man? Little wonder we have become expert in guiding our patients to dwell not in reason, but darkly stirred emotion.
Third, those who follow Our Father are awarded serendipitous proof that they are right. In the shining light of your patient’s public disgrace, all other followers of the Enemy who have demonstrated true “life-changing” behavior now pale. How quickly these are forgotten in the singular focus upon the one fallen. As a result, the Enemy himself is once more put into question. If his offering of eternal life were so blessed, why would a follower abandon such promise for ephemeral indulgence? If the Enemy were so mighty, why would he even allow this to happen? These questions, too, would not stand the test of reason, as the issue of man's free will has been left out of the equation. But such issues seem of little consequence in the giddy, heady celebration of being right. Happy day indeed for us, dear Gobdrip, when Our Father’s servants can wield the two-edged sword of an Enemy proven both faithless and flimsy.
Let me remind you, however, that your work is not finished. It has merely shifted to another challenge as your patient goes on from here. Undoubtedly the Enemy will sidle in with his wiles of redemption and humility. These offerings, though failing to appeal while your patient reveled in his duality of public holiness and private indulgence (a duality that for centuries has afforded us some of our highest victories) may now rise as bright promise. Your job will be to focus your patient on all that he has lost. Fame, success, and earthly glory, particularly when gained through claims of direct access to the Enemy’s infamous power, can be most dazzling to humans. Remind your patient of these losses daily. (This will not be difficult due to the many means of communication covering the events.) The danger is that such loss can turn a human’s thoughts to questions of the soul—for what else has he left? You must not give an inch here. I need not remind you, my dear Gobdrip, how the Enemy loves such questions.
In the coming days my colleagues and I shall meet with you and your fellow fiends to discuss ways in which to best exploit your success. We will not fail to use followers of both the Enemy and Our Father alike in our pursuits. Each has his particular weaknesses which, with the right guidance, can prove equally useful.
Once again, my deepest commendations on your victory.
Your affectionate Uncle,