Thursday, December 14, 2006

Another Strange Jogging Event


A few days ago I was jogging my regular five-mile route through a neighborhood about a mile away. I happened to glance across the street at a house with a large picture window. Through that window I saw an adult-size gray gorilla, wearing a green tank top, sitting in an armchair.

That brought me to a halt.

I stared.

Mind you, I’ve been jogging this same route for the twenty-one years we’ve lived in this California home. Never before have I seen a gray gorilla through said picture window of said house. Matter of fact, I’ve never seen a full-size gray gorilla anywhere on my route.

I stared some more. Only then did I realize the thing was a stuffed animal.

Who on earth would own a life-sized stuffed gorilla? And put him in an armchair in front of the TV? And dress him in a green tank top?

I continued my run, pondering these questions. And then my wayward mind starting doing its thing...

Twenty-one years running by this house—and I never knew until now about the gray gorilla. Was it new? Or had I just not noticed it before? (Hard to imagine.) What about the people who lived in that house—the house I saw every day? I realized I knew nothing about them. I mean, you think you know a neighborhood…

But you don’t really know people, do you. You run by a house every day, yet have no idea what’s inside it. The horrible things that could be there ... The unspeakable plans... The actions committed ...

The dead body in the basement.

(You knew I’d get to a dead body sooner or later, didn’t you.)

Actually, we don’t have basements in California. So make it an attic. Better yet, an extra freezer in the garage. (Keeps longer and less smell that way.)

The next day I checked the house's picture window. The gorilla was gone.

What does this mean? Where did he go? Who are these crazy people?

Perhaps in some future book I shall discover the answers to these questions. Oh, the possibilities! In the meantime, if you’d like to supply a few answers of your own, be my guest. Maybe they'll end up in the story...



14 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL. Maybe that's just what your neighbor wears to work. He or she could be part of the secret society of those who wear life-size plush animals for fun. You just happened to catch the person while they were watching the morning news or something. Seriously, who wants to stay in their work clothes all-day.

Anonymous said...

My dog likes to go to my neighbors house, we're really unsure of what goes on there as the dog brings home animal feet.

My mind whirls and in my little head the dog is now bringing home people feet and I've got a short story drafted about the neighbors.

I hope they're not online.

Kristy Dykes said...

Their quirky Aunt Rumalda gave them the gorilla for an early Christmas present and they displayed it, but when she left, they put it in the attic, where it'll stay from now on...

Bob had to fly to Florida on business, and Jane was nervous about staying home alone, so he bought the gorilla and said people would see it and think it was a man, and Jane would be safe...

Thirty-one-year-old single Sarah's friends all know she wants a man. Her girlfriends saw "Ralph" at Toys R Us and bought him for her. She endured their hilarity for an evening and then took "Ralph" to her classroom so her third grade students could enjoy him...

Speaking of odd things in homes, we have an arm coming out from the closet in our foyer...

And I have a "spilled" cup of coffee on top of my stove...

And I have a knife with a glob of peanut butter on the end, sitting on my counter...

The deacons (we pastor a church) were over the other night, and there was lots of laughter about funny objects. Milton tells everyone the "man in the closet" is a disgruntled deacon that we only let out on occasion!

Oh, and I have Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Actually, Rudolph is an impala my uncle shot while hunting in Zimbabwe. He hangs in kitchen above the door, up near the high ceiling, and he sports a red nose (a red yarn pom pom) year round.

I never wonder about quirky things. I'm the queen of quirk!

Sally Bradley said...

Brandilyn, you're not going to knock on their door and ask???

Anonymous said...

Brandilyn, I am very surprised you didn't knock on the door and ask! :)

In my opinion, a life-size stuffed animal would be a wonderful place to hide a body before you transported it to the dump. You could make a slit in the back, take out the stuffing and replace it with the body. Then, in lieu of stitching the slit back up, band it together with a green tank top.

Then you can simply take the giant "stuffed" gorilla in your car and tell the neighbors you're transporting a Christmas gift for your nephew...

Sarah

Anonymous said...

I would have been so curious, I'd have stopped my jog and knocked on the door!! lol

Stuart said...

I think they should have put some animatronics in the gorilla so it could pick up a remote and chug some soda, just to complete the illusion. ;)

Or maybe the dead body is inside the gorilla and you have the Plush Murderer living on your route!

Anonymous said...

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It could only happen to you Brandilyn! At least he wasn't wearing a green sequined dress!

Cheryl Russell said...

People have never lived there, only gorillas dressed in people suits. This one failed to put his people suit in the dryer last night so he had to throw it in this morning. That's why he was sitting in the armchair, watching the news. It wasn't until he realized you were staring he *made like a stuffed gorilla*.

Why a green tank top? Because green is his color. Brings out the green flecks in his eyes. At least that's what the Mrs. says. ;-)

Just remember, you asked....

Karen Wevick said...

It's their carpool lane buddy of course. They had to haul something home in the backseat the other day, so George had to come in the house. Normally George has to sit in the back seat since in California, you can't tint the front windows, and most police officers or chppies would notice a gorilla. I assume the car has dark tinted rear windows...

Either that or the owner doesn't realize that the gorilla isn't real.

~ Brandilyn Collins said...

I swear some of you BGs have a weirder mind than I have. Now THAT'S downright scary.

Jason said...

I think CBA houses are going to be inundated with stories with dead bodies in gorilla suits next year.

(I'll be original, mine will be a pony suit. A double murder.)

Anonymous said...

LOL! Maybe it really is a family of gorillas who lives there and nobody knew!

Or maybe it's the guys day off and he didn't feel like shaving?

Alison said...

Oh! A gorilla suit would be the perfect place to store a body that is waiting for disposal!

Or, you know how the creepy spider room guy used spiders to scare people??

This guy/gal? could use a gorilla suit and fake attack and/or scare poor unsuspecting people!!

They would first scout the neighborhood for gorilla-phobic victims and then wait for the opportune moment......

Wow, sometimes my imagination scares me!

♥Ali