The novel I'm writing now, tentatively titled In the Shadows, is about fear. My protagonist, Kaycee Raye, writes a nationally syndicated column about her fears and how they affect her life. She manages to write with humor about things that truly plague her. Kaycee's fears
includes bees, heights, closed spaces, and the dentist's drill (sound familiar?). Most of all Kaycee constantly fears that she's being watched.Her column, originally in a small-town newspaper, caught on nationally because it hit home with so many people. Seems everybody fears something. Some of the fears are pretty strange. They fear all sorts of objects/living creatures. And of course they fear the more conceptual stuff like fear of failing or being humiliated, on and on. All these fears affect people's lives. They don't do certain things, or they do other things to avoid those fears.
Question: what do you fear? How do you avoid these fears? Do you want to get rid of them? If so, what are you doing about it? If you don't want to get too personal, tell me about the fears of someone you know. You might just be giving me fodder for my book ...
10 comments:
I hate fear. I hate that I do fear some things. And I repent for it. The things that push my fear buttons: Alzheimer's--my Dad and a couple of his siblings acquired it, not death but the "dying" part. I know fear is not of God. I can trust Him in all of the fear-laced ploys of the enemy. And I wage war against the evil one for his attacks on me with the Truth of God's Word and the Power in the Name of Jesus through the Spirit. Fear erupts when I forget who I belong to and what He is capable of. "Greater is He that is in me than he who is in the world."
I have an obsessive compulsive anxiety disorder, so while I wouldn't say fear exactly, I get terribly anxious about some things. Relatively speaking I'm not that bad compared to some people, so I consider myself lucky!
I freak out if stuff drips on me and I don't know what it is, or if I get stuff on me or my clothes get stained. I really worry that I might need to use the bathroom and not be able to go at that particular time for whatever reason. When I'm just walking around sometimes I worry about the people around me, whether I'm safe. I have to convince myself sometimes that not everybody is going to try to attack me! (I would like to stress here that I have never actually been attacked, which makes this more irrational.)
Of course, I spend a reasonable amount of time worrying that there's something wrong with me and nobody likes me / will ever love me etc, but that may just be early-twenties stressing rather than OCD :D
Bees and the dentist drill rank right up there in BIG fears, like Kaycee.
My writer's fear is that my novel will FINALLY get published and everyone will hate it.
My mother's fear is that there will be no one to take care of my autistic daughter when I can't anymore.
I suppose my biggest fear is that somehow my inner most thoughts will be revealed. As my pastor says from time to time, we can be really wretched, even though we're saved. Thank the Lord for His great mercy!
As I began itemizing my fears, I found many aren't exactly classified as fear. The feeling of crashing a car is more of terror. How is fear defined? For me, it's when my confidance seeps away, and I'm left feeling small, powerless and exposed to whatever horrors I imagine before me.
I fear I'll have to witness violent injustice and be unable to stop it.
I fear that it will my mistake, my fault.
Hairy high speed traffic manuvers sometimes.
I fear people but only socially, if I know them well or its' business, I'm fine.
Being stabbed.
I fear the dark only when I've been reading occult stuff. And when listening to Coast to Coast AM.
I fear torture, but I haven't had to worry about this for some reason.
I'm afraid I won't ammount to anything.
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Just yesterday I saw a masterful lit journal essay about fear you might like to have a look at. http://www.creativenonfiction.org/brevity/brev26hotcold/bucak_fear.html
Thanks so much for your feedback, you all. These are really helpful. Grady, I read the essay. That's helpful too. Thanks!
This story reminds me of the scene with Sandra Bullock in Crash where she screams about how's she afraid and angry and lives with the fear and doesn't know why. That scene was so powerful, the whole movie was!!! If only Christians were writing ground-breaking stuff like Paul Haggis.
Why hasn't there been a white Christian writer/novelist ready to tackle all these heavy racism issues like white privilege in a real and relevant way. Why? Because the church has gotten scared. An elephant is still in the room but some people rather pretend it's not there.
Hmmmm, that sounds like a great book Brandilyn!
My biggest fear, and don't laugh, besides closed spaces (they give me valium to do an MRI) is getting run over by a firetruck. Really. I'm not terribly fond of snakes or spiders either.
I used to have more fears than I do now. However, going through a Bible study on healing helped me to identify and deal with a lot of my fears. But some fears remain: a fear of talking on the phone, although I can make myself do it; and as Nicole said, Alzheimer's (not so much for myself as for family members; my mom died with it).
I had a lot of fear this past summer. My daughter was so ill; finances were so tight; deadlines loomed; I thought I couldn't. Then someone said, "Stop it!" and suddenly fear began to subside.
I have scriptures written on my mirror and the phrase "Stop it!" When I feel overwhelmed I face ME and read those. So far, so good. Thanks B. You'll never know this side of heaven what our prayer time meant.
Linda and Pammer, thanks for telling me your fears. Eileen, you made me laugh--and thank God once again for His mercy. Who'd have know how He would use two words in your life. :)
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