Omniscient Voice -- Part II

Yesterday we talked about the difference between the close third person point of view, used most often in today's novels, and the omniscient point of view. As noted, most of the confusion in the terms seems to involve erroneously labeling close multiple third person POV as omniscient. And frankly, some authors make this mislabeling all the easier by writing in close multiple third person and moving from one character's head to another within a scene. This still does not make the POV omniscient. It is simply close multiple third person with "head-hopping." Which in my book is a no-no. Although, yes I know, some authors, even bestselling ones, head-hop.

In telling the difference between third person and omniscient, the main thing you want to look for is voice. The omniscient voice is a narrator's voice, removed from the scene yet reporting everything about it. It often sounds more telling than showing. In contrast, close third person puts the reader inside the character's head, thinking in the very way that character would think. It's a very intimate POV, with only first person being closer.

You may also hear the term "limited omniscient." This term still hangs around although it's not often used in today's novels. It still has the same removed narrative voice as omniscient. But instead of seeing everything within a scene, the narrator limits himself to only seeing what one character sees. The narrator may switch to another character in a subsequent scene. In this way it's similar to multiple third person, but again, it's the voice that makes the difference. Are you hearing a narrator's voice telling the story, or are you intimately inside the head of one character at a time?

As examples, first I'll run the opening to Dark Pursuit as it appears in the book. Then I'll rewrite some paragraphs for omniscient and limited omniscient.

From Dark Pursuit, written in close third person. Reader is in the head of Leland Hugh:

“Ever hear the dead knocking?”

Leland Hugh watches the psychiatrist peruse his question, no reaction on the man’s lined, learned face. The doctor lists to one side in his chair, a fist under his sagging jowl. The picture of unshakable confidence.

“No, can’t say I have.”

Hugh nods and gazes at the floor. “I do. At night, always at night.”

“Why do they knock?”

His eyes raise to look straight into the doctor’s. “They want my soul.”

No response but for a mere inclining of the head. The intentional silence pulses, waiting for an explanation. Psychiatrists are good at that.

“I took theirs, you see. Put them in their graves early.” Deep inside Hugh, the anger and fear begin to swirl. He swallows, voice tightening. “They’re supposed to stay in the grave. Who’d ever think the dead would demand their revenge?”

Omniscient (removed narrator seeing all)

"Ever hear the dead knocking?"

Leland Hugh blurts the question and instantly regrets it. He watches the lined, learned face of his forensic psychiatrist for a reaction but sees none. The doctor keeps his casual, confident pose, a fist under his sagging jowl. He thinks of all the serial killers he's interviewed. Nothing Hugh could say would ever surprise him.

The psychiatrist answers that he has not.

Hugh nods at the expected answer. His gaze falls to his feet. Behind him a cockroach skitters unseen across the dirty floor. "I do. At night, always at night."

"Why do they knock?"

Hugh's eyes raise to look straight into the doctor's. "They want my soul."

The doctor inclines his head, thinking that perhaps, after all their hours of talking, they are finally getting somewhere. Hoping for more, he remains silent. Hugh knows exactly what the doctor is doing yet cannot keep from saying more as the old anger and fear swirl inside him. "I took theirs, you see. Put them in their graves early." Hugh adds with a tighter voice than desired that the dead should stay in their graves. "Who'd ever think they would demand their revenge?"

Limited Omniscient (removed narrator, seeing/thinking only what Hugh see/thinks)

"Ever hear the dead knocking?"

Leland Hugh blurts the question and instantly regrets it. He watches the lined, learned face of his forensic psychiatrist for a reaction but sees none. The doctor keeps his casual, confident pose, a fist under his sagging jowl, as if nothing Hugh could say would ever surprise him.

The psychiatrist answers that he has not.

Hugh nods at the expected answer. His gaze falls to the floor. "I do. At night, always at night."

"Why do they knock?"

Hugh's eyes raise to look straight into the doctor's. "They want my soul."

The doctor inclines his head but says nothing. Intentional silence pulses as he clearly waits for an explanation. Hugh feels smug as he recognizes the old tactic. Even so he cannot keep quiet.

"I took theirs, you see. Put them in their graves early." Hugh feels the old anger and fear swirl inside him. He declares with a tighter voice than desired that the dead should stay in their graves. "Who'd ever think they would demand their revenge?"
-------------------

Hear the difference? See how omniscient tends to tell more, while third person shows?

By the way, please forgive the poorly written omniscient and limited omniscient--they're clearly not my voice.

You can read the rest of the first chapter of Dark Pursuit here. For a writing exercise, you might take a few more of its paragraphs (in third person) and rewrite them in omniscient and limited omniscient.