A Hissy Fit

Remember I was looking for a way to get Hissy (the rubber snake) back to Deb Raney during the Mount Hermon writers' conference? Did I find a way.

Monday night at dinner, I asked my table mates for ideas. Katie Vorreiter--sweet gal and a finalist in the Zondervan fiction contest--came up with a stunning plan. I didn't know Katie could be so devious. That evening the signing party at MH would take place--all authors sitting in the dining room and signing copies of their books purchased during the conference. Katie leaned over our dinner table, a conspiratorial look on her face. "Cut the middle out of one of Deb's books and curl the snake up in the hole."

Mwahahahahaaaaa.

Everyone at the table got into the act. First we made a pact to be co-conspirators.

From left to right: Miralee Ferrell, Kimberly Johnson, Katie Vorreiter, me, Luke Nutter, Lynn Squire, and Janet Thompson.

Then we assigned tasks. I'd prepare the book. Miralee would present it to Deb for autographing. Lynn would take pictures with my camera.
I hustled over to a bookstore manager during dinner and explained I needed to get in and out of the (closed) bookstore right now to grab a book. It pays to know the right people. I got in.

After dinner in my cabin I went for one of the knives in the kitchen. All dull as a feather. One of my cabin mates walked in and found me with a giant butcher knife stuck in the middle of Deb's novel, A Nest of Sparrows. I must have looked pretty crazy-eyed. She gave me wide berth. She did, however, hand me a pair of small fingernail scissors to use.

Man, it ain't easy cutting through the middle of a 300+ page book with tiny scissors. But I was on a mission. BC prevailed. In the end I had an oval--a perfect nesting place for Hissy. I rolled him up and stuck him inside. Perfect fit.

At the signing I managed to sit at the same table with Deb. By the time the dirty deed went down, we had quite a few folks standing around our table, chatting. Miralee sidled up to Deb and asked for an autograph. "But wait," she said so sweetly. "Do you mind if my friend takes a picture while you're signing?"

"Oh, no, not at all." Deb sat down and picked up her pen.

Miralee slid the book in front of Deb, casually resting her fingers on the cover until Lynn was ready with the camera. "Okay," Lynn nodded.

Deb opened the book--and shrieked. Her hands flew up.

I'm tellin' ya, the whole thing couldn't have gone off better. Lots of laughs and posing with Hissy and book afterwards.

Hissy has now flown home with Deb. She's gonna have to think of a mighty creative way of getting him back to me to beat this one. (Last time I gave Hissy to Deb, he jumped out of a box of chocolates during a class she was teaching at the ACFW conference. She freaked then, too.)

Deb Raney--the challenge is on.