Wednesday, April 08, 2009

A Hissy Fit


Remember I was looking for a way to get Hissy (the rubber snake) back to Deb Raney during the Mount Hermon writers' conference? Did I find a way.

Monday night at dinner, I asked my table mates for ideas. Katie Vorreiter--sweet gal and a finalist in the Zondervan fiction contest--came up with a stunning plan. I didn't know Katie could be so devious. That evening the signing party at MH would take place--all authors sitting in the dining room and signing copies of their books purchased during the conference. Katie leaned over our dinner table, a conspiratorial look on her face. "Cut the middle out of one of Deb's books and curl the snake up in the hole."

Mwahahahahaaaaa.

Everyone at the table got into the act. First we made a pact to be co-conspirators.


From left to right: Miralee Ferrell, Kimberly Johnson, Katie Vorreiter, me, Luke Nutter, Lynn Squire, and Janet Thompson.

Then we assigned tasks. I'd prepare the book. Miralee would present it to Deb for autographing. Lynn would take pictures with my camera.

I hustled over to a bookstore manager during dinner and explained I needed to get in and out of the (closed) bookstore right now to grab a book. It pays to know the right people. I got in.

After dinner in my cabin I went for one of the knives in the kitchen. All dull as a feather. One of my cabin mates walked in and found me with a giant butcher knife stuck in the middle of Deb's novel, A Nest of Sparrows. I must have looked pretty crazy-eyed. She gave me wide berth. She did, however, hand me a pair of small fingernail scissors to use.

Man, it ain't easy cutting through the middle of a 300+ page book with tiny scissors. But I was on a mission. BC prevailed. In the end I had an oval--a perfect nesting place for Hissy. I rolled him up and stuck him inside. Perfect fit.

At the signing I managed to sit at the same table with Deb. By the time the dirty deed went down, we had quite a few folks standing around our table, chatting. Miralee sidled up to Deb and asked for an autograph. "But wait," she said so sweetly. "Do you mind if my friend takes a picture while you're signing?"

"Oh, no, not at all." Deb sat down and picked up her pen.

Miralee slid the book in front of Deb, casually resting her fingers on the cover until Lynn was ready with the camera. "Okay," Lynn nodded.

Deb opened the book--and shrieked. Her hands flew up.


I'm tellin' ya, the whole thing couldn't have gone off better. Lots of laughs and posing with Hissy and book afterwards.





Hissy has now flown home with Deb. She's gonna have to think of a mighty creative way of getting him back to me to beat this one. (Last time I gave Hissy to Deb, he jumped out of a box of chocolates during a class she was teaching at the ACFW conference. She freaked then, too.)


Deb Raney--the challenge is on.

25 comments:

Evelyn said...

Awww, I missed it! Where was I?

Karen said...

You two are something else! Glad it wasn't me with the snake. I'd have passed out. Phobia with a capital PH!

Deborah Raney said...

LOL! Even I didn't know all these details. All these co-conspirators?? Who knew!! How will I EVER top this?? Oh, the mind boggles! ; )

Thanks for the most memorable evening of the conference, BC! What FUN!! (Though I'm STILL a bit miffed that you DEFACED my book so horribly!! But at least I got royalties on that one. Ha!)

C.J. Darlington said...

Deb--I was thinking the same thing. *gasp* they actually destroyed the book??? :)

Lynn Squire said...

Brandilyn, This definitely was a highlight of my weekend. Thanks for letting me in on the fun. And I'm glad the camera was easy to use. :)

Margie Vawter said...

What fun! Can't wait to see what Deb comes up with to get it back to you, Brandilyn. :)

Karen Barnett said...

That's too funny. I heard the shriek and the laughter from across the room, but I didn't know what had happened. Thanks for sharing the story!

Rebecca LuElla Miller said...

Figures! I missed all the Steve Laube/Randy Ingermanson fun years ago. Then I miss one little conference in six years, and it happens to be the Brandilyn Collins caper! ha-ha-ha. Sounds like you had fun!

Becky

Janet said...

This is wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

Falling Around said...

You are SO bad!! Love it!
I guess it's your turn to be on guard.

Brenda Nixon said...

LOVED the pics -- thanks for sharing.

Pam Meyers said...

ROFLOL!!!!!!! Love. It. Wish I'd been there. Too bad Deb missed Denver last month. Old Hissy could've shown up there.

Can't wait to hear what happens next on Hissy's great adventure.

Courtney Walsh said...

Oh, I was in that ACFW class when she opened the chocolates! lol Seriously funny stuff... I have to say though now I consider Deb a friend and might have to offer the services of my prank-playing husband to find a way to return old Hissy!:)

Hilarious idea, Brandilyn!!

Pam Halter said...

I bow to the master of pranks ...

Keli Gwyn said...

I enjoyed hearing the inside story of this memorable Mount Hermon moment. I was nearby having T. Davis Bunn sign his book, heard the shriek and witnessed Deb's shock at having the middle of her book cut out. What fun!

~ Brandilyn Collins said...

Just remember, folks, Deb started this. She's the one who bought Hissy and put him in my hotel bath tub. So don't be feelin' too sorry for her.

Sharon Ball said...

That is hilarious!!! What a great prank, Brandilyn! Oh I wish I could have been there.

Pattie said...

Love it!!!

angela said...

Yikes. I met Miralee and Kimberly at the OCW conference. I'll be keeping my eye on them next time we meet. And you too Brandilyn.

Carrie said...

HA! I wish I'd known to stick around. I got my book signed and left the table. Great job, Brandilyn. And Katie - who knew??

Dineen A. Miller said...

Why am I not surprised Katie thought of that? She's a crack-up!

And I can't stop thinking about that poor book...

Deborah Raney said...

You are all so sweet to commiserate with me about my poor BOOK!! And just so you know, I'm well into an elaborate scheme whereby Hissy gets to spend a little more time with Ms. Collins. Heh heh heh.

What BC didn't tell you was that, the afternoon before Hissy was returned to me in such a book-defacing manner, I walked into the bathroom in my Mount Hermon room and my heart stopped when I saw this HUGE spider on the wall of the shower. I calmed instantly, thinking to myself, "Ha! You can't fool me! Anyone can see that's a plastic spider placed there by none other than the Seatbelt Suspense gal." I reached to brush the spider off the wall, and it JUMPED at me, then skittered toward the drain. It was REAL!!! I get chills just thinking about it! I managed to smash it with a towel and flush it to the Pacific, but I STILL suspect BC had something to do with that creepy thing being in my room!!

Casey said...

I was just passed this link and read it. TOO FUNNY! Feel a bit bad regardless of what Brandilyn said, that would have FREAKED ME OUT!!

And the poor book. :( Ah well, TOO FUNNY!!

Did Deb get back at you Brandilyn??

~ Brandilyn Collins said...

Casey, would you believe ol' Deb has had TWO changes to pass Hissy to me at writer's conference, and forgot to bring him both times. Now she claims she doesn't know where he is. I know what she's really up to--as long as she has him, she can relax. Once she passes him back--watch out for where he might show up!

Deborah Raney said...

Heh heh heh...I cleaned out the closet in my office the other day and you'll never guess who, er, what...well, that's all I'm gonna say. Just be on your guard, dear friend. ;)

BC didn't tell you I MAILED Hissy to her once, via my friend Tammy Alexander. That snake has seen the world! :)