ECPA News on Bestseller Lists

Last week Michael Covington, Information and Education Director for ECPA, wrote me the following letter as an update to my ongoing following of what's happening with our industry's bestseller lists. My comments are in blue. As a reminder, recently ECPA--the publishers association-- and CBA--the booksellers association--tried to iron out their differences regarding sharing data in order to come up with a combined reporting system. These talks failed. So this news is what ECPA is doing on its own. CBA, meanwhile, continues its data-gathering.
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Hi Brandilyn,

Thought I would write to give you an update on PubTrack and the ECPA Bestseller lists. We will be sending out a press release in the next few days but I knew that you tracked this information so I thought I would let you know in case you didn’t see the PR. Feel free to post any/all of this if you like.

Historically, the CBA bestseller list was created using data collected by PubTrack Christian (formerly STATS). In November I received word from CBA that they were going to begin using CROSS:SCAN data exclusively for the creation of their BSL’s. Here was the note I received which includes their reason:

“This is just a courtesy notification to let you know that we're going make a permanent move to using CROSS:SCAN for BSLs very shortly for a couple of reasons. First, we find that we are using C:S with greater regularity in our consulting with retailers, and for any channel reporting and analysis, thus consistency with BSLs is warranted. And secondly, it is more efficient for us, since the data is obviously readily available and we have access to the raw data.”

What this meant for ECPA is that we then had to evaluate the new lists CBA would be creating since we also post these lists on our website and distribute them to various media contacts. After comparing the new CBA lists the data for the same time period in PubTrack we noticed some titles that indicated their lists seemed to be skewing towards particular regions and/or demographics. Additionally, because of print deadlines for their industry magazine – CBA Retailers+Resources, CBA’s uses data that is more than one month old (i.e., the April bestsellers are created using February data). This has always been a concern for publishers as the lists do not pick up on current trends.The online version of the CBA bestseller list goes up around the third week or so of the month--so February bestsellers can't be known until around the latter part of March (which is called the April list, because that's the issue it'll run in for the magazine).

These issues prompted ECPA to go back to the drawing board with regards to BSL’s. In turn, an opportunity was afforded to us to create a new BSL program that we think authors, publishers, retailers and consumers will be very pleased with. Starting this month, you will begin to notice some significant changes on the ECPA website for the Bestseller lists (we’re not entirely complete yet, but keep watching). Here is what you will find:

Top 50 Book List - A book must qualify for this list by having sales in at least 20% of reporting stores during at least one week of the reporting cycle. Additionally, we do not include bargain books, tracts/booklets, seasonal/holiday or any books not offered to bookstores by publishers at a trade discount (e.g., Beth Moore study guides).

Top 20 Bible, Kids, and Fiction Lists – Similar qualifications must be met for each of these lists (with some slight variations).

All of these lists are compiled using data inclusive of the last full week of each month going back four weeks (this means that our April lists were created using March data). The data represents a solid cross section of Christian retail chains, franchises and independents from all regions of the country comprising a group of more than 400 Christian “rooftops” each week. Once the lists are created we distribute them in a few different ways:

1. ECPA website

2. More than 200 media contacts

3. ECPA “Designated Representatives” at each of our member publishers (defined as those eligible to hold a place on the ECPA Board of Directors.)

4. Christian Retailing (currently they are writing briefs each month in the E-tailing piece and we are in talks about how we can use them in the print edition)

5. USA Radio Network News (the top five Christian books are reported on each week and distributed to more than 2500 radio stations, mostly Christian and Armed Forces, worldwide).

In addition to this, we are revamping the layout of the bestseller lists on the ECPA website. On the homepage (www.ecpa.org) we will be listing the top few titles on each list (for a sample look go to http://www.ecpa.org/index00.php#), with cover art from each #1 title. The actual lists will also now include recognition of the following awards:

- Christian Book Award Winner
- Gold Sales Achievement Award Winner
- Platinum Sales Achievement Award Winner
- Diamond Sales Achievement Award Winner
- Christy Award Winner

Finally, because the data used to create these lists comes from Christian retail, we are using every opportunity possible to use these lists to help drive traffic back to Christian retail. This means that on the radio spot, of which I have attached a sample, we have inconspicuously included a reference to the place where listeners can find the bestsellers (it is a news piece after all and not a commercial). We are also working on including links to Christian retailers who participate in contributing data to the lists who either have a national web/brick-and-mortar precence and/or can be found using CBA’s store locater device. Finally, we offer the ability to download a nicely formatted PDF for retailers to easily use in their stores if they so choose for merchandising their bestsellers.

Two more quick updates for your reference:

PubTrack Christian continues to grow as we add new ways to collect and report on industry data. While we still have a very strong group of Christian retailers who send in sales data each week. We also are in the midst of providing publishers with information about sales of their own titles through Christian Book Distributors (online and catalog), as well as store level from Berean Christian Stores, and Koorong (the largest Christian retailer/distributor in Australia). Also, we have been collecting sales data from a test group of publishers for some time now and will soon be launching a program that will allow publishers to see a rolled-up look at competitive/comparative titles across all sales channels, so that we can finally get an idea of how Christian books are selling everywhere. Now this would be cool. When I questioned Michael further about this, he confirmed it would include publisher shipments of books and returns. Note this is different from the other data gathered, which are taken at "point of sale"--the customer at a store buying the book.

The Christian Book Expo is now less than a year away. There is more here than I can even dig into, I will just point you to the new blog (http://christianbookexpo.typepad.com) and recommend that you add it to your RSS feeds. I will tell you that as of now we have exceeded more than 100% of the exhibit space we had originally planned for. We are also forming an agreement with the USA Radio Network News group to begin reporting on the event once a week, which we hope could turn into some added exposure for authors who have been scheduled to host one of our author events as we hope they will go on air with an interview at some point.

Okay – enough typing for now, I hope you and your readers find any/some/all of this helpful. Thank you for what you do.

All the best, Michael

--Michael Covington
Information & Education Director
ECPA
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I've printed out the ECPA's April bestseller list, showing sales for the month of March. Next month, when CBA lists it May list--showing sales in March--it'll be interesting to see the difference in the two lists. We'll take a look at a comparison then.

CFBA News

Today the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance is issuing a release to CBA publishers, announcing new things on the horizon for the organization. Members of CFBA received this news last night. The changes affect CFBA members in that they will have access to more books for review, including those outside traditional CBA publishing houses. But the biggest change is for the publishers. Here's the release to them from Director Bonnie Calhoun:

What CFBA is going to do, starting immediately:

-Conduct 2 standard book tours a week, approximately 100 tours a year.

-Charge $500 per book blog tour.

Why is there a need to charge for something that has always been free?

The organization is growing by leaps and bounds. Where we once had 80 to 90 members, we now have over 200. Where we once spent 2 or 3 hours a week managing members and tours, we now spend 40+ hours a week. Where it once cost nothing but time, there are now monthly emailing service, website, and other related costs.

There are other companies charging much more for the same service, with considerably less results.

Why would you pay $500 for a blog tour with CFBA?

- We presently have 202 reviewers, and 217 blogs as members, and are signing up new members at the rate of approximately 5 a week.

- We have our own Linux server, so our website space allocation is unlimited. And we contract with a top of the line email campaign company that has the ability to deliver individual email to thousands of members simultaneously.

- Our bloggers are quality reviewers. For example: we have over 30 published authors as members including Brandilyn Collins, Chris Well, Tony Hines, Robin Lee Hatcher, Tricia Goyer and Lisa Samson to name a very few. We have several editors and agents as members. A writing chapter from ACFW is a member. One of our members runs 4 book clubs at a Lifeway Christian Book Store.

-Our track record on blog tour successes is well-known. A recent article in CBA Retailer & Resources documents this. If you would like to read the article, we have it archived HERE on our blog. Click on each of the page images to open them in a larger readable format.

-Our Technorati results are listed on our blog after every tour. The recent Tour Update for Brandilyn Collins' Amber Morn, shows that because of our tour, her books from the series netted positions #1, #2, #3, and #4 on Technorati's Popular Books.

-For those unfamiliar with Technorati, their core strength is as a blog search engine. Their Popular page, dubbed Blogger Central is visited by 10 million global direct measured visitors, and almost 5 million US direct measured visitors a month, according to Quantcast statistics.

-Amazon results are trackable by comparing the book ranking before and during the tour. Amazon results are trackable by comparing the book ranking before and during the tour. A recent example of this was expounded on by Jeffery Overstreet, in the CBA Retailer & Resource article. Overstreet was amazed that his CFBA tour for Auralia's Colors raised his Amazon ranking by 75,000 points. His statement said, "I've done 25 radio interviews and I've never seen this kind of spike. It's pretty amazing."

-We will conduct our 100th tour in the month of April, and we presently have 49 other tours booked, some into next year. (All books that already have tour dates are exempt from the new change.) Because of the new schedule we can place an additional 20 book tours for this year.

-All of our Alliance members get my undivided attention. When publishers send books to their "influencer lists" there is only a small percentage of readers who will ever post anything about the book online, or in an organized manner that will create buzz. CFBA tours require 100% posting compliance from all reviewers who have solicited the book for promotion. We stay on top of this. Those who receive the book and don’t post are contacted. Those who don’t comply are dropped from CFBA membership.

-Each paid tour will also get a free ad in our new monthly magazine. (Startup tentatively for July 2008 - it will have author interviews, book reviews, a writer's corner, columns on writing tips, agent tips, industry news and much more. It will be free to all.

Additional exciting news:

In the month of July we will be launching our new monthly online magazine:
CFBA presents…
Christian Fiction Online Magazine

We have hired author Michelle Sutton as the Editor-In-Chief of the magazine. She has put together an exciting lineup of twenty-five columns and features for each monthly issue written by notables of our industry. The magazine will cover the complete spectrum of Christian fiction, from reading and writing to agents and interviews, and will include news relevant to upcoming blog tours and their dates.

There will also be paid advertisement space available in each issue.

I hope you will join in our excitement at the prospect of moving into even greater expansion than we have enjoyed so far in the area of online advertising. If you have any questions feel free to contact me.

Bonnie Calhoun
Director- CFBA
Founder/Owner - Christian Fiction Online Magazine

The Whole Truth

The Whole Truth is the latest from James Scott Bell (publised by Zondervan). I read this book during my Kentucky trip and enjoyed it very much. I recommend it to all of you. BHCC members, you can read this one. This is legal suspense and is not scary. Think John Grisham.


Here's what Jim had to say about writing the book:

I'm fascinated with the long term affects of the past on the present. The germ of the idea was the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping, from the same room her little sister was in, as the sister watched, pretending to be asleep. I kept thinking, what would be the effect on the sister?

In the novel I made it two brothers, and then cut ahead twenty-five years, to see the effect on the younger brother. And then he gets a mysterious call ...

Back cover copy:

At the age of five, Steve Conroy witnessed his brother's kidnapping. Years later, the guilt of his silence has nearly destroyed his life and his law practice. When he agrees to represent a convicted criminal, Steve realizes that Johnny LaSalle is hiding something. Could it be a clue to his past? Or a scheme deadlier than anything Steve could have imagined?

Why I liked this novel:

It's real. It's raw life. The protagonist wants nothing to do with God, and his character arc is just enough to reflect his beliefs at the beginning of the story.

All the characters are multi-faceted. They'll surprise you. Not everyone who spouts a Bible verse is really walking God's path. Sad truth that this is the way the world is today. Just watch the latest headlines.

The dialogue is fresh and lean, and pops along. This is one of Jim's signatures.

I didn't know how it would end. The twists I guessed, but that's not surprising, since I write suspense myself. However, guessing the twists didn't make the book any less enjoyable. I still didn't know how Jim would wrap everything up, and I wasn't sure of the veracity of certain points.

The prologue really works. It creates immediate empathy for the character as a child, so when we meet him as an adult--with all his weaknesses--we can still root for him.

The Whole Truth is currently on the bestseller list at #15.

CFBA Tour--Trouble the Water

I have yet to read this novel. I did read Nicole's first, The Spirit of Sweetgrass, and really liked it.

About the book:

In the South Carolina Sea Islands lush setting, Nicole Seitz's second novel Trouble the Water is a poignant novel about two middle-aged sisters' journey to self-discovery. One is seeking to recreate her life yet again and learns to truly live from a group of Gullah nannies she meets on the island. The other thinks she's got it all together until her sister's imminent death from cancer causes her to re-examine her own life and seek the healing and rebirth her troubled sister managed to find on St. Anne's Island.

Trouble the Water received a starred review from Library Journal.

Nicole is also an artist. She paints the beautiful pictures on the covers of her novels.

The Top Four

This week, Monday through Wednesday, Amber Morn is on blog tour with the CFBA (Christian Fiction Blog Alliance.) Starting Monday morning and lasting all day, all four Kanner Lake books took the top four slots of most talked about books on Technorati. As this writing was posted, they were still in the top four spots. We'll see how much longer it lasts. I've had books hit the #1 slot on Technorati before, but never have I seen this. Pretty cool.

The Technorati link for "most popular" books: http://technorati.com/pop/books/

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Today on Novel Journey I am guest blogging about writing character emotions. Jump on over and check it out.

Kentucky Trip

While visiting my mom in Kentucky I had a chance to meet Emma Sleeth, a 17-year-old college student at Asbury College. At age sixteen Emma sold a book to Zondervan--a nonfiction targeted to young adults about saving the environment. Emma wrote It's Easy Being Green when she was fifteen as an English assignment in high school.

Emma learned about and developed her passion for environmentalism from her father, a doctor who wrote Serve God, Save the Planet: A Christian Call to Action Now. Emma's now at Asbury on scholarship and at 17 is already finishing her sophomore year.

Now that's cool, selling your first book at 16.

Also during this trip--on Saturday I visited some Christian bookstores in Lexington, bearing gift bags of chocolate. The beautiful Lifeway Store had a great endcap for the Kanner Lake series. This endcap of the whole series is now possible with the release of its final book, Amber Morn. I signed all the books on these special shelves and applied an "autographed by author" sticker. It's always great to visit bookstores and say a special "thank you" for the sellers on the front lines.

Big Honkin' Chickens Club!

The BHCC logo:

The logo will be available on a key chain, magnet, T-shirt and mouse pad. When my new web site goes live, you'll have opportunities to receive the various products for free through doing small marketing exchanges, such as linking to the BHCC page from your own site. The products will also be for sale. And once a month or so I'll give away a T-shirt.

When the new site goes up, I'll make an announcement.

BHCC--This One's for You

I'm in the middle of having my website overhauled. Which means I'm in the middle of driving my poor webmaster crazy. I've pretty much grown out of my current site. Not much room in the graphics to add more books--and next year alone I'll be releasing five (all three young adult suspenses in the Rayne Tour series and two adult novels). At any rate, as long as my webmaster was immersed in the update, I thought--aha, the time has come!

Big Honkin' Chickens Club members--I'm going to have a page just for you. (For those of you who've been living on another planet, BHCC members are those who are too chicken to read suspense novels. Which means they refuse to read my stuff.)

Here's the thing about BHCC folks. Actually a couple of things. One, many tend to be my friends. (See how gracious I am, even when they turn up their noses at my novels.) Second, every BHCC member out there has friends and family members who do read suspense. The marketing method to my madness is to reach those people--through the BHCCers. And at the same time provide some gleeful comraderie to the club members themselves.

In so doing--I've created a BHCC graphic. It's fun. It's cute. It's eye-catching. And it totally represents the name of the club.

The BHCC page on my web site is still under construction. It will include a guest book for comments and various ways to win BHCC products.

Products? you ask. Oh, yes. There will be products. With said logo. Methinks they shall become so chic that everyone will want one of them, whether a BHCC member or not. If you're an avid suspense reader, surely you must know someone who has nightmares over the stuff.

Wanna "Sneak Pique" at the BHCC logo?

Tomorrow--the unveiling ...

A Market for Science Fiction/Fantasy

Recently a discussion about the future of science fiction and fantasy in the Christian market ran on an author loop. Jim Denney responded with this thoughtful opinion. It's posted here with his permission. Jim is the author of Answers to Satisfy the Soul and the four-book Timebenders series (beginning with Battle Before Time, Tommy Nelson 2002).
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I think there conceivably could be a market for Fantasy & Science-Fiction (F&SF) in the CBA if publishers would make a massive marketing effort, including major marketing efforts into the secular F&SF marketplace. But it would be a horrendously chancy and expensive enterprise so, from the publishers' perspective, why take the risk?

Some authors, like Ted Dekker, Donita Paul, Kathryn Mackel, and Karen Hancock, have carved out niches for fantasy in the CBA (though the "fantasy" label is generally eschewed). But for the most part, the CBA is not a welcoming environment for F&SF—and for several nearly insurmountable reasons:

1. SF timelines don't seem to jibe with evangelical eschatology.

True science fiction transcends and shatters stereotypes. It is wide-open and unbounded. SF readily comes into conflict with many people's notions about Scripture, especially eschatology. If you believe (as most evangelicals do) that the Lord's return is imminent (within a decade or so), then stories about events in, say, the 26th Century wouldn't seem to "line up with Scripture."

For me, such objections are baseless. A good story is a good story, regardless of whether it fits some notion of "biblical correctness." Besides, I see no biblical reason to believe that the Second Coming couldn't commence right now—or 20,000 years from now.

2. SF fans aren't looking for SF in Christian bookstores.

A CBA editor has said, "Many of us love to read SciFi, and would love to be publishing it. But guess what happened when we did? Nobody bought it."

SF readers already know where to find good SF, and they don't go shopping for it at the Berean Bookstore. Even if the CBA started publishing quality F&SF, it would take a major marketing effort to get the word out to F&SF readers that they can find quality F&SF at Christian bookstores.

3. "Hard SF" (technological, scientific SF as distinguished from fantasy) is a highly specialized genre requiring highly specialized editors and writers.

Science fiction is fiction about science. It is fiction in which the story would fall apart if you removed the scientific element. It would be a disaster to try to write or edit SF if you don't have the background for it. If an SF story is not scientifically literate and plausible, SF readers will spot the flaws from a thousand light-years away.

4. Too many Christians are hostile to science.

Many Christians see science—especially the fields of biology and cosmology—as the enemy of faith. SF that is truly speculative and imaginative (that is, free to speculate on the full range of scientific possibility) would be rejected by many Christians as being "biblically incorrect." That's tragic, but it's a fact.

5. The CBA editorial bias against F&SF as "unsalable" is too firmly entrenched.

Ted Dekker’s experience [of selling his Black, White, and Red trilogy] shows that F&SF will sell in the CBA—but not as F&SF. A book must transcend the F&SF label in order to have a chance with both CBA editors and readers. Editors rejected Ted early on because they were convinced that "fantasy doesn't sell in the CBA." Fantasy can only be sold to CBA editors and readers if it is positioned not as fantasy, but as a "thriller" or, better yet, as "spiritual warfare" fiction.

So what do you do if you want to write SF? Three choices, as I see it.

1. You can write F&SF without labeling it or positioning it as such. As I noted above, you have to have another dimension of your novel, such as "spiritual warfare," which overshadows the "fantasy" dimension. As Ted Dekker has said—and proven—fantasy can sell, fantasy can rock, but if you lead with the "fantasy" label, you're leading with your chin.

It's interesting to note that Wikipedia's entry on Ted Dekker doesn't label him as a fantasy writer. Instead, it says, "Though classified as 'Christian Fiction,' Dekker's work often crosses genres," and it lists his genres as "Christian Fiction, Fantasy, Thriller, Horror, Psychological Thriller, Suspense, Mystery, Magical Realism." Ted succeeds in the CBA not because he writes fantasy but because he writes Ted Dekker fiction, which is its own niche.

2. You can publish with Jeff Gerke's Marcher Lord Press. If you want the freedom to write the kind of Christian F&SF that the CBA won't touch because "F&SF doesn't sell in the CBA" and which the secular market won't touch because it's "too religious," then Jeff has come up with a good middle ground. Marcher Lord doesn't pay advances, but it also does not charge "vanity press" fees, and as an editor, Jeff will be discriminating. So Marcher Lord is a POD press without the vanity—an innovative concept.

3. You can break into the secular SF marketplace. For example, [CBA author] Ed Willett has published two hard SF novels, Lost in Translation and Marseguro, with secular SF publisher DAW Books; a third is on the way (Terra Insegura).

Amazon.com's New POD Policy

Last Friday the Wall Street Journal reported Amazon has notified publishers that they must use the company's own on-demand printing facilities if they want their books sold on amazon.com.

Although Amazon doesn't give out its sales numbers, it's estimated that the company's market share of book sales is around 15%. This new policy is designed to strengthen its presence in other phases of the book industry.

In 2005 Amazon acquired its P.O.D. unit, BookSurge. BookSurge has numerous competitors, such as Lightning Source, a unit held by Ingram Industries. Since it started in 1997, Lighning Source has printed over 50 million books for over 5000 publishers worldwide. As a whole the P.O.D. industry has been embraced by over half the country's university presses and just about every major consumer publisher for certain titles. A 256-page paperback can be printed and bound in under ten minutes, allowing publishers to replenish their inventory within a few hours, versus weeks through a regular printer.

Amazon's new policy means all those books now have to be printed by BookSurge if they want to sell on amazon.com. According to the Journal, this will surely hurt rivals such as Lightning Source, as well as reduce publishers' bargaining power, because Amazon will set the price for each book, according to its own costs for printing. Bob Young, CEO of Lulu, Inc., another P.O.D. publisher, said he believes Amazon's prices are "slightly higher" than other P.O.D. printers. Amazon wouldn't comment.

According to Amazon spokeswoman Tammy Hovey, this is a "strategic decision" to "better serve [Amazon's] customers and authors." She does not view it as an ultimatum.

Anyone out there self-publishing with another company and wanting to sell through Amazon? Better check out this new policy.

Writing the Prologue--Part 3

So, after all my warnings on prologues, when have I written my own and why? As for other authors, can't we all think of numerous prologues we've read and liked?

All four books in my Hidden Faces series have prologues. (Follow the links to read on my website.) I didn't intend for them all to have one. Each story just worked out that way. This series is written in the first person POV of Annie Kingston, a forensic artist. All its prologues were written in third person from another character's POV--in other words, they were "removed by space." One (Stain of Guilt) was also removed by twenty years' time. All four books could have started without the prologue, but were made stronger by the addition of it.

In Brink of Death and Stain of Guilt, I set up two-part inciting incidents. The crimes, from the POVs of witnesses, are in the prologues. The pulling of the protagonist into the solving of those crimes is in the first chapters. In Brink of Death, for example, the prologue is from the POV of a thirteen-year-old who sees the murder of her mother. Because she's so traumatized, she never does speak much of the crime throughout the book. Annie has to jar her memory just enough to draw a composite of the suspect. I wanted the reader to see the crime and feel the girl's emotional state. And I wanted to set the tone for the book and its intensity. It seems to have worked. Suspense readers tend to love this prologue. It pulls them in. Those who can't handle this kind of intensity see it right up front and know to put the book down. (Putting a book down for that reason is a good thing, I think--I never want to sell a novel to someone who's going to have nightmares as a result.)

The above two prologues are an exception to my "make a prologue short" guideline. Both are seven pages.

The Dead of Night prologue is short--two pages. It's a rant from the first-person POV of the killer. Does the book have to start with it? No. But I wanted that voice right up front, even before my protagonist's. I wanted it to chill the reader, showing immediately what Annie would be up against. Web of Lies is different in that it blends the protagonists from the Chelsea Adams series, written in third person, and the Hidden Faces series, in first. (Don't try this at home, folks. It near killed me.) These variant POVs are kept in Web of Lies. The prologue begins in Chelsea's third--and is very short. Then the first chapter switches to Annie's first person POV.

I can't cover all my novels, but I will also mention Capture the Wind for Me, third in my Bradleyville series (back when I wrote womens fiction). I wrote this book's first fifty pages or so without the prologue, but then decided I wanted to show an additional element up front. In the main story, the 15-year-old protagonist, Jackie, is trying to play "mom" to the family after her mother died over a year previously. I added the prologue of the family at the funeral to highlight the family's grief and that moment of switching from daughter to "mother" that Jackie had to make. I also wanted to establish up front the perspective of the POV. This first person story is told from the perspective of years later, looking back. The prologue establishes the narrative voice of the character, which is older and wiser than the 15-year-old we see in chapter one. This prologue is short and removed in time.

Here's an example of a very short prologue I like--Michael Connelly's The Narrows. (Read it here.) He's establishing character voice and adding intrigue. This again is a first person character looking back after the story's complete. It's pure narrative, no scene. But the voice is compelling, and the questions that are raised propels the reader forward. (And frankly, it's way better written than the opening paragraphs of chapter one.)

As you can see, there are exceptions to my prologue guidelines. I've made a few of my own. Yesterday in the comments some folks were pointing out examples of exceptions they liked. You'll likely find plenty. This series wasn't written to bang you over the head--"never write a prologue!" But I do hope the general discussion of prologues will make you think twice about writing one, and that you now have a better understanding of what makes a prologue work.

Also in the comments it was pointed out that we should study prologues in all literature to see what works and what doesn't. I agree. Much of learning how to write comes from reading. The only caution is to remember that just because you enjoy a specific kind of prologue, perhaps even one that breaks all the "rules," that doesn't necessarily mean you should write one like it. What works in one novel doesn't always work in another. And what one author is allowed to do doesn't translate to all authors. Apply the challenges I've given you here to check if a prologue really does work best for your book--and will help sell it in today's market.

This Week's CFBA Tour--Betrayed, by Jeanette Windle

ABOUT THE BOOK--Betrayed

Fires smolder endlessly below the dangerous surface of Guatemala City’s municipal dump. Deadlier fires seethe beneath the tenuous calm of a nation recovering from brutal civil war. Anthropologist Vicki Andrews is researching Guatemala’s “garbage people” when she stumbles across a human body. Curiosity turns to horror as she uncovers no stranger, but an American environmentalist—Vicki’s only sister, Holly.

With authorities dismissing the death as another street crime, Vicki begins tracing Holly’s last steps, a pilgrimage leading from slum squalor to the breathtaking and endangered cloud forests of the Sierra de las Minas Biosphere. But every unraveled thread raises more questions. What betrayal connects Holly’s murder, the recent massacre of a Mayan village, and the long-ago deaths of Vicki’s own parents?

Nor is Vicki the only one demanding answers. Before her search reaches its startling end, the conflagration has spilled across international borders to threaten an American administration and the current war on terror. With no one turning out to be who they’d seemed, who can Vicki trust and who should she fear?

Writing the Prologue--Part 2

A prologue should be removed from the main story by either time or space.


Time--Back

Often a prologue will be an event that happened before the main story. Could be years. Could be mere days. It depends on the time length of the main story. If it's a suspense that takes place in eighteen hours, a scene that occurs one week previously seems like a large space of time by contrast.

One reader sent in a question to the intro post on this topic, wondering about novels with first chapters that happen years before the second chapter. "Is this a prologue in disguise?" she asked.

Probably. And I think it's a fudge on the part of the author/editor, who perhaps were too cautious of prologues to call one what it is. I don't agree with this "label fixing." If a scene fits the bill for a prologue and truly enhances the story, I say label it as such. If it doesn't, don't try to disguise your use of the scene by calling it "Chapter One." If it's labeled as a prologue, the reader will understand right away it's removed from the main story. If it's called "Chapter One," the reader's expectations are that the main story begins there, in that space in time. Jumping years ahead in chapter two seems jarring to me.

I'm speaking in generalities here, without having any example novel in mind. Have you read one like this that you think works? Let me know in the comments.


Time--Forward

This one's tricky. Most don't work. (More on that in a minute.) There's only one way I have seen it work. That's if the prologue (remember, short and compelling) shows a snippet of some future event that isn't clear to the reader at that time. It will become clear when the story ends. This kind of scene is often a clue as to the story's outcome, but doesn't unveil enough to give the scene away. For example, it could be a scene of man, trembling with tension, walking into a darkened room to meet someone. Not until the crisis/climax do you find out what man, what room, why the man's tense, etc.

I have never written a prologue like this. If I did, it would most likely be to twist the story in some way. I'd want the reader all along to assume it's Man A, in Room B, meeting character C. In fact, it would be Man C, in Room A, meeting character B. In other words it would be a red herring. But is this the best way to introduce such a red herring, or real clue? Usually not. I think it's the rare case where this really works.

Most time-forward prologues fall into a different category. These are the ones that take an action- or emotion-filled scene from further into the story and stick part of it up front. I strongly advise against this. As discussed yesterday, what's really happening in these circumstances is the author senses, perhaps only subconciously, that chapter one is a slow start, and he wants to throw some higher energy up front. The problem is two-fold. One, it doesn't fix the slow start in chapter one. After an exciting prologue, there's a huge dip in energy. In fact, here a compelling prologue works against itself. The more grabbing it is, the more we'll feel the dip in chapter one. Two, even worse--everything in the story up until the point we catch up with that prologue scene is negated.

Think about it. If we know that exciting scene is coming, all else before it becomes backstory. Readers will be impatient to catch up to that exciting scene and move on. You've launched the all-important "what happens next?" question in their minds--based on a scene that won't occur until page 45. Pages 1-44 now become mere set-up.

Admittedly, I'm speaking like a suspense author here. You may be thinking this technique is more viable in other genres. You'll get varied opinions on that. Mine, of course, is no. Books that have used this technique may succeed, but I think they'd be even better without this weakness. I'd argue there was a better way to tell the story.


Space

The obvious thought here is geographical space. Your story takes place on an island in the Bahamas, while the prologue is set in Colorado. The scene may also be removed by time. My cautions here would be the general ones for prologues. Is the scene a set-up or explanation for chapter one? Is your opening strong without it? Then why use it? (You need to have good reason.)

However, there's a conceptual kind of "space" that also applies--the space between reader and character. This plays out through changes in POV (point of view.) Let's say your story is told in close third. (For further explanation on this, see "Third Person POV" in archives.) The prologue may then be a scene that needs to be told in omniscient POV, or a removed third, which is somewhere in the middle. Here again the reader's inherent understanding of a prologue helps make the technique work. The reader will accept that the POV used in the prologue varies from the POV in the main story.

Still--and I know I'm repeating myself--the same cautions apply. Does your story really benefit from adding such a prologue?

Another variance on this technique--your story may be told in first person, but the prologue needs to focus on another character and is told in third. In today's fiction it's not uncommon to see POV shifts between first and third in different chapters. However, a first person story needs to present the protagonist's POV in chapter one. First person is very intimate. You want your reader to connect with that character right away. A chapter one written from some supporting character's third person POV leads the reader to assume that's the character she should empathize with most. She'll be jarred by the sudden first person at the beginning of chapter two.

In a first person story, if you write a third-person prologue--which means delaying the entrance of your protagonist--you'd better have a strong reason. I have written this kind of prologue. We'll talk about that and other examples of prologues tomorrow.

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Read Part 3

Writing the Prologue--Part 1

The "P" word. Prologue. It tends to have a bad reputation in fiction. For good reason. Too many poorly used prologues find their way into published novels. Readers know this. They've been burned too many times. The result--they don't even read a prologue. They'll skip right over it, believing they haven't missed a thing. Many times they're right.

As for aspiring authors, most agents/editors tell them to avoid prologues altogether. This is because 95% of new authors who use prologues do so wrongly.

Prologues--written by both aspiring and published authors--too often are seen as fixes for a weak first chapter: "Readers won't understand chapter one/empathize with my characters without it. I have to set the stage."

If you think you need a prologue in order to get your story moving, don't use one. Find the weaknesses in your first chapter(s) and fix them instead. When I tell aspiring authors their prologue isn't "necessary," this is what I mean. By the time we finish discussing how to strengthen their first chapter, they usually see that the prologue should be nixed.

However--here's the oxymoron. The best prologues aren't necessary to start the story.

You'll hear many state the "necessity" rule: "Don't use a prologue unless the story absolutely requires it." That's the wrong approach, for it leads to the problem mentioned above. Far too many authors will argue their story does require a prologue. I advocate the opposite: Don't even consider using a prologue until your first chapter is a strong opening on its own. Most of the time, when you've accomplished that, the temptation to add a prologue goes away.

The best prologues don't explain or set up the main story, they enhance it. They add some sort of intrigue or emotion. Or they set the tone in a unique way.

When you do use a prologue, here are two basics:

1. It should be (A) compelling, and (B) short .

2. It should be removed from the main story by either time or space.


Compelling

Think of a prologue not as explanation or exposition of what's to come--but as what it is: the opening for your novel.

"Well, duh," you say. But we forget just how critical that opening is in selling a novel. When we sit down to write a story, we should picture the reluctant buyer in the bookstore who's never heard of us. That's the most critical person you're writing the opening for, not the readers who already know you and like your work. Here's the typical browser scenario:

1. Spots your novel. Something about the cover/title makes her pick it off the shelf. (This is why covers and titles are so important.)

2. Turns book over, reads back cover copy. (Better be written well.) If she likes it ...

3. Opens book. Reads opening line. (This is why you want a strong one.) If it's good ...

4. Reads paragraph. If that's compelling ...

5. Reads first page. If that's really good...

6. Buys book.

This whole browsing time? Around 30-60 seconds. 30-60 seconds.

Is the opening to your prologue compelling enough to sell your book to that browser? Is that critical first page really where you want to dump a bunch of backstory that "sets up" your first chapter(s)?

If you use a prologue, it needs to thrum with excitement of some sort. It can be a high action scene. It can be an outwardly quiet scene, but intense in emotion. It can even be mere character narrative, but the voice has to absolutely grab the reader's attention and not let go. The point is to capture the reader's imagination--not give information. Don't think in terms of answering questions in your opening. Think in terms of raising questions. Questions keep the reader turning pages. (For more on this, check the archives for the teaching on "Backstory.")


Short

The very word "prologue" tells the reader this isn't part of the main story.

Let's say a browser buys your book. Major victory! Now he sits down to read it. The back cover has laid out the premise. The premise contains the inciting incident--the first major point of conflict that kicks off the story. Your reader begins your novel knowing this incident is going to occcur--and he's waiting for it. He also knows, simply from reading novels over the years, that the prologue isn't likely to contain this incident. He's gunning to see the real story kick off--and he may not wait all that long. (Some readers have more patience than others. Womens fiction readers in general will allow more time. Suspense readers are notoriously impatient--they want havoc wreaked, and they want it now.)

If a prologue stretches on for pages, the reader is thinking, "Sheesh, and I haven't even started the first chapter yet. What if that first chapter takes awhile to get to the inciting incident?" He could find himself bored enough not to continue. And even if he does keep reading, he's likely to be thinking, "Man, slow start. Sure hope it picks up."

You may have read some long prologues that you liked. That's fine. Doesn't mean you should try it. It's tricky enough writing a prologue that works in the first place. Gets even trickier when you write a long one. I'm starting my 19th book, and I haven't tackled a long prologue yet. Maybe after I've written 50 ... But I doubt it.
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Tomorrow--Time and Space (which may not be as obvious as they seem), plus some examples of when I've used prologues and why.

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Read Part 2

When to Prologue

Tomorrow I'm going to post about prologues--when to write them, when to avoid them. I thought I'd already done this, but nope. Nothing in the archives. Every time I teach at a writers conference the issue of prologues comes up. It's also a popular issue on writers' loops. So many new authors want to start their novels this way. Should they?

Before we start--do you have any particular question about prologues you'd like me to cover? Any opinions on when to use them, or when not to use them? As a reader, have you found that most prologues work, or would the novel be better without one?

This series will probably go 2-3 posts in length.

How Much is Too Little?

The issue of how much Christian content to place in my books never quite goes away. Some readers don't fully understand why I make the choices I do. Here is a letter I received recently, followed by my reply, and ending with the sender's response. This series of correspondence is a good example of the issues we face as Christian novelists.

To: Brandilyn Collins
Subject: Kanner lake series

I have been an avid reader of your books for awhile and have really enjoyed them. I especially appreciate that fact that you had stories with a Christian storyline. With Christian characters or people finding salvation through Jesus. I just ordered your new book Amber Morn in the Kanner Lake Series from Christian Book Distributors. I did have a concern, these books have not really had much in them about Jesus, faith, Christianity, etc. I was disappointed with the Crimson Eve book because it seemed there was a total lack of the Christian storylines I have known from you in the past. Is Amber Morn the same? Did you get back to the Christian story line? I hope you did write more about Christ in this book because I may have to discontinue reading your books. Thank you. _________


To: _______________
Subject: RE: Kanner lake series

______, how kind of you to write. Thank you.

Oh, my. You have NO IDEA the vastness of opinion on how much Christianity should be in my books. I hear from folks on all sides. My readers range from Christian to non Christian.

Here's my philosophy: the Christian theme grows OUT of the suspense story that the main character is facing. If the main character starts out not being a Christian--and the story takes place in a little over 24 hours, as with Crimson Eve--that character arc is not going to be a huge turn-about face moment with Christ. Most of the time in fiction that doesn't ring true. But that character can come closer to Christ. In Carla's case, she learned a lot. She learned how her poor choices of the past warped her future, and now she wants to change that--with God's help. She wants God to show her how to [live a better life.] For you, a Christian, that may not seem like much "about Christ in the book," but for a non Christian, that's a huge message.

In the end, you must decide to read what is right for you. I'll respect whatever that opinion is. The difference is, you're reading for one person--you. I'm writing for people from one end of the scale of knowledge about God to the other. So I can't truthfully answer your question by saying I will put in more about Christ in every book. I can simply say that I will be true to the story as it should be written.

Please know I always write my books with God's help. He leads me through each day. I ask Christ to help me with the story and bless me as I write. Writing is terribly hard for me. I just slog through every day. I need His help--in a big way. :)

Blessings on you. Thanks again for writing.

~ Brandilyn


(The sender's response is to the best of my memory, as I didn't save the e-mail.)

To: Brandilyn Collins
Subject: RE: Kanner lake series

Thank you for responding and explaining how you write. I now have a better understanding of what goes into books and why.
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There is far more to this issue, but it's not something I wanted to address in my response to this concerned reader for fear of sounding defensive. That's the fact that in my books, underneath the surface suspense story--which includes whatever amount of overt Christian message is appropriate--runs the symbolism/deeper meaning of the story, which is always Christ-centered. Many readers simply won't pick this up. They read the surface story with all its action/emotion and don't think beyond that. However, I've come to terms with this. I wouldn't want to place the symbolic meaning in the surface story, because I'd then have to write it too overtly--"on the nose," as we call it.

In the end, no author is going to please everyone. And we authors must respect each reader for making reading decisions based on his/her conscience.

Borders' New Shelving Strategy

The first Friday of spring. Yay!

With yesterday's second post on "Show, Don't Tell" I've completed the "Rules, Rules, Rules" series. I'll soon have the link for the series set up in the archives at left.

About a week ago the Wall Street Journal ran an article on Borders' latest "radical move" to jump-start their sales--turning more books face out on shelves. (Borders is the nation's second largest book retailer, after Barnes & Noble.) Since face-out book shelving requires more space the store will shrink its number of titles by five to ten percent. This is, indeed, a radical shift from the norm at Barnes & Noble and amazon.com, which emphasize their huge inventory. On the other hand, Wal-Mart offers few books but displays almost all of them face out.

The new display idea came from CEO George Jones, who learned as a buyer at Dillard's that dresses sell better when the entire garment is shown rather than hung sleeve out. He decided to test book sales at the new Ann Arbor Borders by putting more with covers out--and found those titles sold nine percent higher than at other Borders.

The books being cut from stock in order to make room for the more-covers-out strategy will be those that only sell one copy per store in a year. This will mean a reduction of anywhere from 4600 to 9300 titles per store out of the former total of around 93,500. Books shown with covers out will still be the minority overall. Still, the number of them per store will triple. Fiction will feature more face-out titles, but fewer than other sections.

The Borders move is controversial. Some, like John Deighton, editor of the Journal of Consumer Research, says it's overdue. He cites grocery store stock, where everything is face out, including large cereal boxes. "The point of self-service is to make the product as tempting as possible." Other say the strategy is good because too often customers are overhwhelmed by such large inventory anyway.

This strategy may affect small publishing houses, which now can place a debut novel in Borders because of its huge selection. Jones counters that in the past only big titles were shown face out. Now the lesser known titles may get that chance.

The new face-out shelving should be noticeable in all Borders throughout the country in about six weeks.

Rules, Rules, Rules--Show, Don't Tell, part 2

I love to read Dean Koontz. What a wonderful writer.

Guess what--Dean Koontz tells. Quite a lot. But he does it in a form that works.

In my early days as a novelist I occasionally fell into the trap of trying to write like Koontz. I didn't do it consciously. But Koontz's voice would be running through my head as I created a scene. And--voila. Some imitation would come out on the page. Interestingly, if taken all by itself--that is, out of the context of my story--it wasn't bad writing. But in context it didn't work at all. The passages just sounded stilted, like overwritten telling.

Why? (Other than the fact that I'll never write as well as Dean Koontz.)

It took me some time to realize the answer. I write in close third person--the most intimate form of third. In this close third person, I always try to describe things as the character would describe them. I want the character's voice to come through, not my own as author.

Koontz doesn't always write like this. Often his third person is not close third, but more removed. We're still in the character's head, but in removed third person the narrative is more formal, allowing the author's voice to come through in description. In this removed third, a passage that should be "shown" in close third can now be written more in the form of "telling."

When, in my close third person, I wrote a passage a la Koontz, the result was a pulling back of intimacy with my character. Her voice would change, suddenly more distant and formal. In that context, the passage would stick out like a sore thumb.

Consider this paragraph describing a "bad guy" in Koontz's Dragon Tears:

Of all the extraordinary things about the ratman, his eyes were the most disturbing ... The eyes made the ratman's body seem like merely a disguise, a rubber suit, as if something unspeakable peered out of a costume at a world on which it had not been born but which it coveted.

The last sentence is certainly descriptive. Gives us the sense that this bad guy may not even be quite human. This ratman is seen here through the eyes of the POV character, a homeless man. But Koontz is not employing the close form of third person. He's using removed third. In close third, this character's voice wouldn't use such a formal-sounding phrase as ... a world on which it had not been born but which it coveted. But because the whole book is written in removed third, such "telling" passages work.

In Dark Pursuit, my novel coming out in November, one of the main characters is Darell Brooke, a suspense writer. A few chapters in Dark Pursuit are from Darell's own suspense novel that he's desperately trying to write. I wanted Darrel Brooke's writing to be very different from my own. In my own writing for the character of Darrel--and every other POV character in the story--I used the close third person I usually employ. But for Darrel's writing, I pulled back into a removed third. (I also switched to present tense.) As soon as I did this, I found myself using more "telling." It's what comes naturally in removed third. Here's a passage in the smugly arrogant bad guy's POV from Darrel Brooke's novel. (In this passage the POV is so removed as to sound close to ominiscient.)

Deep in the night Leland Hugh walks the town.

Darkness is his ally.

In movies and in books the dark has been unworthily portrayed. Unpredictable, ferocious, protector of evil and ugliness. The hour of vampires and witches and goblins. Hider of sins.

The velvet blackness drapes soft on the back of Hugh’s neck.

This night the pavement sheens from recent rain. Lamp post light glides across asphalt as he passes, ghost galleons in a shallow sea.

Although the air is warm Hugh detects a whisper of coming autumn.

He traverses the central downtown street, nerves thrumming to the music of its silence. Twelve hours ago shoppers and lunchers filled these blocks, fiercely intent on their useless errands and gossip of the absurd. Their absence fills Hugh with a quiet joy. He entertains the thought of himself as sole survivor of the town, an unbridled and brilliant founder of new beginnings.

The world according to Leland Hugh.

He reaches an intersection and swerves diagonally to the opposite curb.

His footsteps strike without noise. This is an art he has perfected. Fear may be unleashed through the shriek of power, but nothing is as terrifying as soundless dread.

If I stuck this kind of "telling" description in the middle of one of Darrel's POV scenes, it would sound out of place. Darrel himself, in close third person, sounds like this:

Three times they repeated the process. Pills, always pills, day and night. He didn’t even know what he took anymore. Most of them were vitamins and herbs. Did no good at all, except to keep snake oil salesmen in business. As for the inventor of the one that was supposed to make him think more clearly—Darell could imagine a million torturous ways to kill the shyster off in his next book.

If he ever had a next book.

Bottom line: there is a form of writing in which "telling" works on a regular basis. It depends on the kind of third person you use. If you're using removed third, or the most distant POV of all--omniscient--telling can sound right. But most likely, you're automatically using close third because that's the form we're used to reading these days. If that's the case, you shouldn't look at authors like Koontz and say, "He's telling, so why can't I?" That's like packing a few apples in a crate of oranges and wondering why the colors don't match.

Back from Mount Hermon

... and I'm exhausted. But happy. It was a terrific conference. The spirit of love and encouragement permeated the beautiful camp. And a whole lot of learnin' went on, I can tell you that. Gayle Roper, Randy Ingermanson, Jim Bell, Kathy Ide and I all taught fiction mentoring clinics in the morning. I had ten students. Then in the afternoon it was critique time for whoever wanted me to look at a manuscript, plus individual appointments with those who wanted some help. At lunch and dinner all faculty host tables. After dinner there's a nightly service. By the time dinner was over I'd be almost hoarse, especially the last night. It's a lot of talking.

I had a great group in my clinic. It will be interesting and very satisfying to see where they all are a year from now. The manuscripts ranged from fantasy to women's fiction, to romantic comedy, to suspense, to a supernatural angels-and-demons story. Good variation.

No, we did not have an Amish vampire novel among us. But with the bonnet stories being so hot these days, the idea did get tossed around amongst the published authors at the conference. In the end they decided they'd bit off more than they could chew.

I did not kill off anyone this year. However, Deb Raney and I traded a snake back and forth. That is a story for another day.

And don't feel sorry for her. She started it.

I roomed with Angie Hunt, who taught the fiction morning track. Who would ever have guessed that woman whistles constantly? When she wakes up, when she goes to sleep. I swear she whistles when she's brushing her teeth. By the time the conference was over--no, more like a day into it--I'd perfected my "Shut-up-yer-whistlin'!" glare. She'd just laugh at me. Angie's not one to be easily intimidated.

Okay. Let me get my head on straight for a day. Tomorrow we'll return to the "show, don't tell" rule. We really just skimmed the surface on that one last week.

Rules, Rules, Rules--Show, Don't Tell

Show, don't tell.

What a maddening, non-specific, confusing "rule." What in the heck does it mean anyway? And what good is a "rule" if it has so many exceptions?

Bottom line, this rule means: communicate information to your reader through a character's actions, expressions, words, or perceptions rather than communicating through author narrative.

Many times the rule is right on. If a place or person or action can be described through the eyes of a character rather than simply told straight from the author, it will be more effective--particularly if you are writing in close third person. (And most writers today do, because the majority of current fiction is written that way, and it's what we're used to.) The problem with switching to telling is that the POV is pulled back from close third to a narrative tone. We lose intimacy with the character and the scene.

Consider this telling passage in the middle of a scene in which a killer has hurried through a forest to lurk near a path, waiting for his victim to appear:

The sky was the slate blue of early morning. Soon the sound of crunching gravel rose from the path. A jogger rounded the corner. A blonde. She ran rhythmically, at about a ten-mile-a-minute pace, holding her body with ease. Her elbows were bent and her hands held low. This would be the last jog she ever took.

This is a scene in which the reader should be on edge, leading up to a murder. Not the place to pull back. To "show" the scene, actions, reactions and perceptions of the POV character are used so we experience the sights and sounds through the killer. Here's the scene as it appears in my novel Eyes of Elisha:

At a sound, he jerked up his head, ears cocked, legs quivering. He heard the rhythmic crunch, crunch of a ten-minute-mile pace but saw no one. His heart turned into an erratic pump. Crunch, crunch. Soles on gravel. Crunch, crunch. The fire grew in his belly. Unconsciously, his hand felt again for the switchblade and tightened around it. Crunch, crunch. Air rattled down his throat.

With ultimate clarity he saw her, outlined against the early morning sky as if bounding toward him on three-dimensional film. The sudden sight of her blonde hair bouncing, her easily held body, sucked away his breath.

Elbows slightly bent, hands low, she rounded what would be her last bend in Trent Park.

A stronger scene, to be sure. It's also a whole lot longer. And that's why sometimes showing is necessary. We can "show" effectively when certain events aren't worthy of a whole scene or of being depicted moment by moment within a scene. If we showed everything, our books would be boring. Some actions you just need to skim over and move on to the next compelling event.

"Show, don't tell" is quite a big topic, and we could discuss it more. I will probably take this topic up again next week. For now--today I am going to Mount Hermon. I'm teaching a fiction mentoring clinic and serving on the critique team. I'll be able to return to regular blogging next Wednesday or Thursday. In the interim I'll post a quick bit of gossip from the conference if I can. Or perhaps I shall see who I can kill off this year ...

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Read Part 12

Rules, Rules, Rules--Show, Don't Tell

"Show, Don't Tell" will be the final topic in this "rules" series. The "Show, Don't Tell" issue is one that we could talk about for days. And, like so many other writing "rules," it's really not a hard and fast rule at all, but a guideline. In the end, one thing rules: Story.

Please help me out on this topic by anwering any of the following:

1. Do you have specific questions regarding this rule?

2. What about exceptions to this rule? Can you give me an example?

3. What kinds of "telling" really bug you as a reader?

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Read Part 11

Rules, Rules, Rules--Action/Reaction Sequence

Write the action before the reaction.

Unlike the other "rules," this is one you really don't want to play with. In real life things follow a logical order. In our fiction--which represents a slice of life--we should follow that order.

This is not rocket science. All the same, it's easy when you're fingers are flying over the keys to write a reaction before an action. You may be visualizing the scene in your head, but all the reader has are your words to help him "see" the scene. If you get this sequence backwards, it's not that the reader will always understand what exactly you did wrong. It's that the power of the scene is diminished because the reader isn't able to visualize and "feel" the action as well.

She jumped when the rock hit the window.
Fear uncurled in her stomach as she listened to the coyotes' howls.

You could correctly rewrite these sentences many different ways, as long as you place the action before the reaction.

A rock hit the window and she jumped.
Coyotes howled near the edge of camp. Fear uncurled in her stomach.

Take a look at your manuscript. If this is the first time you've been made aware of this rule, you'll probably find a few backwards sequences. And even if you have been aware--these guys can sneak up on you.

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Read Part 10

This Week on CFBA--The Perfect Life

Don't miss the latest from my pal Robin Lee--The Perfect Life, a Women of Faith novel.

Robin Lee Hatcher discovered her vocation as a novelist after many years of reading everything she could put her hands on, including the backs of cereal boxes and ketchup bottles. The winner of the Christy Award for Excellence in Christian Fiction (Whispers from Yesterday), the RITA Award for Best Inspirational Romance (Patterns of Love and The Shepherd's Voice), two RT Career Achievement Awards (Americana Romance and Inspirational Fiction), and the RWA Lifetime Achievement Award, Robin is the author of over 50 novels, including Catching Katie, named one of the Best Books of 2004 by the Library Journal.

Robin enjoys being with her family, spending time in the beautiful Idaho outdoors, reading books that make her cry, and watching romantic movies. She is passionate about the theater, and several nights every summer, she can be found at the outdoor amphitheater of the Idaho Shakespeare Festival, enjoying Shakespeare under the stars. She makes her home outside of Boise, sharing it with Poppet the high-maintenance Papillon. She also likes to blog. Go leave her a comment at Write Thinking.

About the Book:

Katherine Clarkson has the perfect life. Married to Brad, a loving and handsome husband, respected in their church and the community. Two grown daughters on the verge of starting families of their own. A thriving ministry. Good friends. A comfortable life.

She has it all--until the day a reporter appears with shocking allegations. Splashed across the local news are accusations of Brad's financial impropriety at his foundation and worse, an affair with a former employee. Without warning, Katherine's marriage is shattered and her family torn apart. The reassuring words she's spoken to many brokenhearted women over the years offer little comfort now.

Her world spinning, Katherine wonders if she can find the truth in the chaos that consumes her. How can she survive the loss of what she thought was the perfect life?

Rules, Rules, Rules--Starting With Action

We've gone through the four "writing rules" I listed in my first post on this subject. However, I invited you readers to add some "rules" of your own you'd like to see covered. We'll go through those this week.

The first one--noted by two people: Start in the middle of action.

The other rules we discussed last week focus more on individual sentences. This rule deals with story structure. Where to start the story? As one reader asked--how do you start in the middle of the action when readers don't even know who your character is yet? Why should they care what's happening if they don't yet care about the character?

Very good questions. And something that could be taught on for months. Actually, I already have. There are two series in the archives here on Forensics and Faith that speak to this issue. The first is the teaching on "Backstory." The second is an eleven-part series on "Creating Character Empathy."

The backstory series teaches you how to drop in bits of information without slowing the action. The Creating Character Empathy series discusses ten techniques to help readers connect with your character right away, with an example from a novel for each technique.

It does matter to a degree what genre you're writing in. Suspense readers are notoriously impatient and want action immediately. Women's fiction readers tend to be more relaxed about seeing some backstory up front. Still, the tendency for writers is to "information dump" in the first chapter. So no matter what genre you're writing in, the lessons on backstory may be helpful to you. As with the other rules we discussed last week, when you use backstory, it should be purposeful, for the best telling of the story. Too many times backstory is just thrown in because the writer thinks it has to be there--when it doesn't.

If you're having problems with where to start your story, I urge you to revisit both of these series. The end of each part links to the next one.

Tomorrow we'll look at the rule on action/reaction sequences.

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Read Part 9