Monday, February 12, 2007

He's Baaaaack!

So I was jogging today, minding my own business (as usual)--and there he was. G.G., the life-sized gray gorilla. Just appeared again like that, after weeks of nowhere to be found.

Now he's sitting outside. On the porch. And he's changed clothes. He's wearing a red Stanford shirt and slick green jogging pants (the kind you wear in the rain).

I don't know, I think he's looking a little peaked. Kinda slumped in the chair, arms hanging limply at his side. Teeth gleam all nice and white, though. All in all, he's not looking like the slick G.G. I first saw in December.

Well. I did the only thing a self-respecting suspense author would do in such a situation. I finished my run, then the minute I got home I hopped in the car, camera in hand, and raced back to take a clandestine photo. I was sweating bullets, I can tell you. The people in that house are murderers or sadists or something. I mean you don't keep a G.G. around just for nothing. So I parked my rig cautiously, camera on and all ready to shoot. Jumped out, aimed the thing, snapped a photo--and was back in my car before anybody inside that house could grab a shotgun.

I drove like a madwoman all the way home. Then made double sure all my doors were locked.

What do you think G.G's reappearance means? Why has be been kicked out on the porch? Why did he change his clothes? Why is he slumping? Is he not eating right? Does he now house two bodies instead of one?

I just can't figure this out. It's driving me crazy.


Nicole said...

I was sure you were gonna say you went back and marched right up on that porch and asked what the heck the deal was with the G.G. and all . . . because one of these days, you're just gonna have to, you know what I'm sayin'?

SolShine7 said...

LOL. What an adventure! Maybe the gorilla was sent to spy on you. What if as soon as you turned you back, the gorilla took out a camera and took a picture of you. Uh-oh! Now they have a pic of your license plate. ::gulp::

This is too funny!!!! I mean seriously, why in the world would someone put a stuffed animal on their front porch?

Air Force Family said...

Hey Brandilyn! It's good to hear that G.G. has made an appearance again! lol
I'm sure he'll help give you plenty of ideas for a book!

Hope you are having an awesome day!!


Jannie Ernst said...

Brandilyn, I think you have to be more careful. The person(s) inside the gorilla are waiting for you to get closer. I bet they watched you from somewhere, and now they know where you live. They are after you! They know that you would be worried about the slumping gorilla, that's why they set it up that way. It's you they want. You have probably laid bare their plotting in one of your books! For all you know, they are already picking a lock on your door - go look!

Seriously! I'm scared now!

Jannie Ernst said...

On second thoughts... his right eye looks like the lense of a camera. Hmmmm.... run Brandilyn! We can't lose you, not now!

sbaar said...

Obviously, the gorilla has been banished to the porch because the smell of the decomposing body in the gorilla suit was starting to drive the owners crazy.

I would watch it if I were you...



SolShine7 said...

Brandilyn, this is off topic but you gotta check out this blog: "Backstory" at - I found it off one of my journalism sites. It's a blog that interviews authors for their...backstory (pretty obvious).

It's ran by M.J. Rose, she's a journalist/novelist. She contributes at Oprah Magazine, Poets and Writers and some other biggies.

Pass it on!

Jason said...

I hope you doubled back, like any good suspense writer would have their characters do. I'd hate it if they had a trace on your location.

Maybe being obvious is part of their plan. I mean, who would want to ask about the GG? It's like when Jack Sparrow told the British soldiers he was going to steal a ship - that threw them off.

Just wondering...


Carrie said...

It was the redhead again, this time with a camera.

He stepped back from the blinds and leaned against the wall, breathing deeply, then checked his hands. Steady. The trembling had passed.

He jumped slightly when she slammed her car door and gunned the motor, squealing her tires. He counted to five, then peeked. Black marks on the pavement marked her departure.

Frightened little mouse. But oh, so curious.

It took only a moment for him to tug the gorilla from the porch and into the hall, propping it against a rickety table. He patted the synthetic fur and giggled like a schoolgirl.

She’d be back. He knew.
His giggling grew, bubbling up from inside, and he had to wipe tears from his eyes. He covered his mouth, but the sound of his mirth echoed off the walls, filling the house, drowning the distant basement screams.

William G. said...

Hmmm... I don't know. Seems pretty normal to me.

Kristy Dykes said...

Sounds normal for my neighborhood, too, william g. GRIN Yesterday, I passed a house, and I live in a fairly nice neighborhood, and there, in a big window, is a manequin wearing an orange plastic rain poncho and a straw hat on his head.

What in the world? You gave me an idea, B. I'm going to go take a picture of him.

As far as G.G., his owner is schizophrenic, and Schizo thinks G.G. will protect him from the big bugger out to get him.

Or, it could be a case of what goes on at my house. I have an arm sticking out of the closet in the foyer, to give guests a buzz when they walk in. And I have a "spilled" cup of coffee on my cooktop. And I have a knife with a glob of "peanut butter" on my counter. And we just got an upright paper towel holder shaped like a cow that goes "Moo-ooo. I used to have a monkey in my foyer who whistled like a man whistling at a pretty woman, whenever guests came in. Drat the thing, though. He started whistling in the middle of the night and waking us up. So much for motion activation.

Tina said...

haha. Maybe they just wanted to see if you'd post about it again on your blog. Too funny.

~ Brandilyn Collins said...

Karen: Thanks for the link to the backstory blog. It's an interesting site.

Carrie: That was great. Your spine-tingling story made my morning. :]

All you others who warned me in various ways: Yeah. I hear ya.

Kristy: I just don't know about you ...

Ane Mulligan said...

Glad you're not jogging in my neighborhood, Brandilyn. I have a huge 5' tall, green Kermit the frong on my front porch. At Christmas, he wears a Santa hat. Right now, he's wearing a baseball cap bearing the logo for Mulligan's Irish Pub - and that's all. Kermit's a nudist.

Susanne said...

I don't think I'd worry too much until you came out to find him sitting on your porch smiling like that. Or sitting in your hottub. Then I'd start to worry. :v)

Kristy Dykes said...

Oh, I forgot to say: when we entertain the staff and deacon board at Christmastime and they walk in and see the hand sticking out of our foyer closet, we tell them it's an ornery deacon.

When our almost three-year-old granddaughter arrived at our home for Christmas, she came unglued at the hand. I tried to console her. Fear written on her face, she spouted, "It don't have a...a...a eye!" Of course, I quickly put it away and comforted her.