Facebook Fiasco--Take Two

Agggh!! If you think I'm dangerous wreaking murder and mayhem on the page--that ain't nothin'. I am downright deadly on Facebook.

I'm still trying to figure out how to do things, see.

I managed to upload a photo album of my book covers. Man, was I proud of myself. Actually, this was very easy. Made me a little too cocky. No sweat, Brandilyn, you're gettin' the hang of this thing.

Then I joined a few groups. That went fine. Might join some more. Then I realized I'd left off some key ingredients on my profile. It occurred to me with "friends of friends" being able to see my profile, I really wanted to include on there that I'm a happily married woman and not out cattin' around. Well, I couldnt't put it quite like that. But I could add--Relationship: Married. So I did. Next thing I know, I'm hearing from friends. "What's this about you getting married?"

Huh?

Turns out every little thing I do on my page gets sent around to everyone. My friends all got this message: "Brandilyn Collins is now married." Oh, good grief. How to explain this to my husband of 27 years?

In hindsight this should have sent up a red flag. Make me think twice before doing anything else, lest some faux pax get published everywhere. Did I become more cautious? Nnnoooo.

So next I saw that some darling person whom I didn't know--but who, of course, is now my "friend"--started a club titled something like "Frank Peretti, Ted Dekker and Brandilyn Collins Rock!" Better check that out, right? So I did. Nice little brand-new club, with all of four members so far. From there I clicked on Ted's site. Which has a cool little hyperlink near his name: Become a fan.

Hey, wait a minute. I want one of those on my site. That's just the kind of thing I joined for--so I could reach out to readers easily.

So I started looking around Facebook for how to add that cool little Become a fan ditty. Nothing. So I googled "start a fan club on facebook." Found an answer--you go to "groups" then "create a group." Oh, great, got it!

Here's where I should have stopped and thought twice.

So I started a Fans of Brandilyn Collins group. Easy to do. Waaaay too easy. Naturally the fact that I started said group got published to my page, and probably sent out to every friend of a friend of a friend. Then I discovered that's not what I wanted at all, as it did not put the cool little Become a fan ditty on my profile but was simply listed under "groups." Well, duh. Terrific. Now I have a self-started fan club with one member--me. This is gonna look real good.

In a panic, I rustled around trying to figure out how to delete the group. I started the thing, why in the heck can't I nix it? Could find all sorts of ways to edit the group but nothing about canceling it. I did find out how to take the announcement off my page, so it wouldn't sit there glowing in all its narcissism. But what about the notifications that went out worldwide? I had to get rid of this thing--fast.

Oops--time to take a scheduled phone call from a book discussion group that had read Eyes of Elisha. I chatted with them--nice gals--and then went right back to Facebook, trying to fix my faux pas.

Oh, have mercy. Somebody had joined. Now I had a member. How could I cancel the group now, even if I ever found the nix button? Hey, you joined a group that was never meant to be--sorry. Flummoxed as all get out, I punched keys, trying to figure out what to do. I still wanted to get that Become a fan thing on my page. (You'd think I'd give up by now.) So I went back to googling. Found the real answer this time--I think. And it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I joined wrong.

Yup. In the very beginning I should have joined as a professional, which automatically gives you that little ditty. Ted joined as a "celebrity." Well, he's got more chutzpah than I have. I'd have joined as a mere writer.

So I followed the link given to join as a professional. Filled out a few items. Until I got to the "Create a page" button.

Stop. Think. Did I really want to create a whole new page? Then I'd have two pages? Would all my friends have to rejoin my new, "professional" page? How would I explain this once those world-wide notifications went out? Yesterday I got married. Today I'm divorcing my first Facebook page. It's been quite a weekend.

I lifted my finger off the click key.

By that point I'd run out of time. I had to leave the computer for the rest of the day. Couldn't get on again until Sunday.

At which point I discovered I had five more Fans of Brandilyn Collins members.

Some of you dear souls no doubt joined because you felt sorry for me. Or maybe you joined just to see what new havoc I'd wreak through said group. If nothing else, it's bound to be entertaining.

I don't know what to do now except leave things as is. If I could transfer my existing page into a "professional" page I would. But I haven't discovered that option. The only thing I can do now is hold my head up high and pray for more FoBC members so I won't look like the bumbling idgit I am. Honestly though, I don't even know how people are joining. I did my best to hide the group. Those of you who are my "friends" on Facebook--is that notification forever in your inbox, or wall, or whever the heck these things get posted?

The good news is, through the FoBC group I can send notifications to all members, which is the kind of thing I sought to do in the first place. It would be great to be able to put a join the FoBC group little box or something on my page. That would come the closest to the Become a Fan that I wanted. Naturally, I don't know how to do that.

Sigh. Killing people off is so much easier.
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The above line was supposed to be the end to this post. I'd written the post earlier in the day, before traveling between Idaho and California, and saved it. Back in the California office, I checked email before putting up this post, and found notification of this lovely note from a gal on Facebook:

Dear Brandilyn,

I just joined your Fan Page. This will help me keep updated on your news and book releases, so if you prefer to keep your fan list limited to people you know, feel free to remove me. I promise I won't be offended!

Maybe I'm not quite such an idgit after all.