Wretched Writers Welcome--Bulwer-Lytton 2009 Winners

The Bulwer-Lytton contest--"where www means wretched writers welcome."

Haven't heard about this contest to write the worst first line of a novel? Read about it here. As for the 2009 winners, here's an example in all its glory:

Runner-Up

The wind dry-shaved the cracked earth like a dull razor--the double edge kind from the plastic bag that you shouldn't use more than twice, but you do; but Trevor Earp had to face it as he started the second morning of his hopeless search for Drover, the Irish Wolfhound he had found as a pup near death from a fight with a prairie dog and nursed back to health, stolen by a traveling circus so that the monkey would have something to ride.

-- Warren Blair Ashburn, VA

Read the complete list of horribly awful winners here.