Follow-up Friday

Yay, almost to the weekend! Today, a little of this and that.

1. Wasn’t that a cool interview with ye ol’ Michael Snyder? What’s not to like about that guy? I wanted to emphasize one thing he said. You want to learn how to write? Ya gotta read.

I’ve said many times that my own journey to publication was spent 50% writing and 50% reading. I see too many new authors who skimp on the reading side. Reading teaches us so much. What works, what doesn’t. How various authors use POV. The use of pacing, tone, voice. Symbolism, foreshadow, icons. Story structure.

I used to read with pen in hand, marking up the books. I learned POV not from any teacher—I didn’t have the Internet and blogs and author loops when I was learning. I learned POV from reading masterful authors.

Read in your chosen genre—lots. Read literary novels, read commercial novels. Read classics and contemporaries. Study the variations. Just, whatever you do—don’t forget to read!

2. On a housekeeping note, my wonderful assistant has been cleaning up F&F’s links this week. She’s done them all now, except for the NES (Never-Ending-Saga) posts—officially labeled “How I Got Here.” Since that series about my journey to publication ran over 60 posts (hey—took me a long time to reach a half-decent level of this craft), fixing that one will take her awhile.

All of the links under “Story” and “Craft” posts now go to the individual post rather than its monthly archive. If it’s a multiple-day series, the link takes you to Part 1, which will include at the bottom the link to Part 2, and etc. No more scrolling through monthly archives, looking for the posts you want. There are quite a bit of teaching archives on this blog now, and this system will make the series much easier to plow through. Or, of course, if you want a few laughs at my expense, you could always read the “World’s Worst Dental Patient” or some other story.

3. I’ve forwarded Sue Brower your questions for her interview. “Wow,” she wrote back, “those are some hard questions!” Yup, you all didn’t hold back. Good for you. I told Sue to take all the time she needs to answer fully. Then bowed at her feet and offered mucho chocolate for her willingness.

4. Awhile back I promised to do a post that segued from the one on my Crimson Eve rewrite—on voice. Haven’t forgotten. Perhaps I’ll tackle that next week. Also I will continue to refer to your topic suggestions from over Christmas.

5. GREAT news. After almost three years, my trademark for "Don't forget to b r e a t h e ..." has finally been registered. Man, you want to conduct business at a turtle's pace, choose the U.S. government. Two years into the process, the government informed us we had to start all over due to a technicality. I'm just glad I didn't have to do any of the work myself. My wonderful assistant, Gayle DeSalles, was the liaison with the attorney.

My "Seatbelt Suspense" trademark is still in the works. A couple days ago, after almost two years' of bureaucracy, the government informed us we have to start the process all over due to a technicality.

6. Last but hardly least--one of my favorite photos of Mom and me (since I haven’t used a doggone picture all week). This was taken in her front yard twenty years ago. I was 30; she was 70.

If you’re wondering, I bought my outfit first. Mom saw it—and just had to have one. Sunglasses and all.

TODAY: Angie Brendt--A Gift in Turn

As much as I love Cosmos, I knew I needed a special gift for Bev to thank her properly. I couldn't go out and just get her another dog. That would be boring, wouldn't it? I thought about a monkey, too, but they are just too expensive--and besides, with all the legal stuff about transporting them, I just didn't have the gumption to pull it off. So, I did something even better...

Call to Prayer

In the January 15 issue of Publishers Weekly, the #1 selling hardcover book in the “religion” category was anti-religious: The God Delusion, written by atheist Richard Dawkins. Number four on the list was Sam Harris’s Letter to a Christian Nation. another anti-God missive. Sandwiched in between was Rick Warren’s The Purpose-Driven Life at #2, and Joel Osteen’s Your Best Life Now, at #3. Also in the Top Ten that week were books by Joel Rosenberg (published by Tyndale), Max Lucado (W), John Eldredge (Nelson), and Philip Yancey (Zondervan).

Think there’s no spiritual warfare in the book industry?

Here’s the copy about The God Delusion on Dawkins’ web site:

With rigor and wit, Richard Dawkins examines God in all his forms, from the sex-obsessed tyrant of the Old Testament to the more benign (but still illogical) Celestial Watchmaker favored by some Enlightenment thinkers. He eviscerates the major arguments for religion and demonstrates the supreme improbability of a supreme being. He shows how religion fuels war, foments bigotry, and abuses children, buttressing his points with historical and contemporary evidence. The God Delusion makes a compelling case that belief in God is not just wrong, but potentially deadly. It also offers exhilarating insight into the advantages of atheism to the individual and society, not the least of which is a clearer, truer appreciation of the universe's wonders than any faith could ever muster.

I propose a direct campaign in support of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. (In support of their souls, that is.) It’s very simple, carried out very privately: pray that the God they deny will open their eyes.

Of course, these two men and their followers can’t be the least offended by our campaign. No point in them leaving nasty comments on this blog. After all, there is no God, and we’re talking to thin air. So if we want to waste our time, why should that bother any of them in the least? What is the point of arguing with the deluded?

I propose using Isaiah 50:4-5 as our verses for prayer. These are prophetic verses of Jesus (and therefore very powerful). And they speak of using words, which these men now do to promote their beliefs.

Lord God, give Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris the tongues of disciples,
That they may know how to sustain the weary one with a word.
Awaken them morning by morning,
Awaken their eyes to listen as disciples.
Lord God, open their ears,
And keep them from disobedience.

Actually this is a great verse for just about anyone, isn't it?

I’m going to pray this for Dawkins and Harris in my morning devotions. I’m making the commitment. Anyone willing to join me?

TODAY: Bev Trexel--My Confession

Today, much to my chagrin, I--Bev Trexel--have a confession to make: I am a packrat.

Remember my first goal for the year? To "clean out the boxes leftover from teaching." My most reasonable resolution, I thought at the time. So this morning I had my husband bring down the boxes from the attic to the spare bedroom. I expected five, maybe ten boxes. But the boxes kept coming--fifteen, twenty, twenty-five! I guess this project will take a little longer than anticipated. (Angie, quit your gloating.)...

Michael Snyder--Part 2

And now, back by popular demand. Heeeeere's Michael!

5. Your story is decidedly different and is targeted toward the 18-34-year-old audience. Do you see more opportunities for this kind of fiction coming in CBA?

I sure hope so. I love to read Nick Hornby, Douglas Coupland, Richard Russo, Mark Haddon, Lisa Samson, as well as a few old dead guys and gals. I’m a big fan of outstanding movies and pretty much any great art that mixes pathos and humor.

Love him or hate him, there’s a reason that Christians devour Donald Miller’s work. He’s like the CBA version of Dave Eggers. I believe (and have no proof to back it up, other than just talking to folks) that if we write in ways that are relevant to X’ers or Y’ers or whatever they’re called these days, they will buy and read and talk about our books.

Disclaimer: I’m not claiming I’ve attained this lofty goal, nor am I comparing to myself to the aforementioned geniuses. I believe the technical term for what I’m doing is ‘shooting off at the mouth.’ Nor am I saying that everyone should write for the pomo crowd. Just don’t be afraid to if/when inspiration strikes.


6. There are two very different opinions as to how to first get published. One side takes more of the artist's approach--write your passion, perfect your craft and then see where you can place the manuscript. The other side takes more of a business approach--perfect your craft through writing what sells easier at first, even if you want to move into something different later. What's your opinion about these views?

Aha! My favorite question (Other than ‘where do babies come from?’ and ‘Does this hurt?’).

First, some background. I’m not very smart. That’s why I don’t write suspense … too many details to keep up with. Second, I like to study craft, not markets and trends and all that. That’s what my day job is for.

So my opinion is always to write what moves you. If it makes you laugh or cry or squirm or ponder, write that. If it makes you mad or sad or causes an impish grin to invade your face, write that. If it moves you AND fits into a recognized genre, so much the better for you!

Life is too short, my kids are too young, and the odds too long for me to sit and calculate what I think someone else wants to read. The question for me always comes down to what interests me. What moves me or amuses me. (Sorry, don’t mean to make it all about me.)

I have some great friends who write great fiction that fits neatly into the established genres. They have bigger brains than me and that’s okay. They can figure things out, make concrete plans, and actually see the plans to fruition. It’s like magic to me. I don’t get it.

I’m not ready to dub myself an artist just yet. But I aspire to artistry. It would be very cool to write fiction that changes people.


7. Now that you've sold two books and have the second one to write--are you scared? Are the looming deadlines overwhelming? How is the contract affecting the way in which you approach writing?

Um, well I wasn’t scared until you brought it up. Now I’m all atwitter. (Sorry, I always wanted to use that word in a sentence).

Actually, I’m not too worried … yet. I haven’t discovered any unused hours lying around. So I just try to maximize my schedule and get as much writing done as possible. Family has to come first, then the day job, then the writing.

I’m trying not to think about it too much, but I do believe the pressure will mount as the deadline for book 2 approaches.

But here’s a dirty little secret about the professional editing process … It’s fun.

I know everyone says they love their editor and that he/she is making it a better book. But in my case it’s true. He also sends me little reminders to eat lots of fruit and floss every night, which I think is a nice touch. The thrice-daily Zig Ziglar motivational podcasts have become a bit tedious however.


8. As someone who's just crossed the line into "sold" territory, what would you most like to say to those on the other side?

I’ve probably said too much already…

First off, try to relax. When I finally decided to write what I wanted to write, I had to acknowledge that no one would ever buy it.

Second, buy my books. Buy copies for your friends. Or your enemies. Or friends of your enemies. Or even your family and their pets. (I’m trying to learn this marketing thing.)

Most importantly, write a ton. Read more than you write. Write fearlessly. Have fun with it. Love what you do or do something else. God’s gonna do what He’s gonna do. So you may as well enjoy the ride.
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Read Michael's blog, Gritty and Bright.

TODAY: Janet Detcher--God's compassion

Happy 2007! This is Janet Detcher. As last year came to a close, I was reflecting on how amazingly God draws people to Himself ... people who, by human standards, might be overlooked or discounted. But God misses no one. He sees every life in all its darkness and in all its need, and He has compassion.

We have a couple in our church, who I'll call Tom and Daisy. (I'm telling this with their permission, by the way.) As they put it Tom and Daisy lived most of their lives as "hell-raisers." They had a rocky marriage for the first 20+ years; they raised their kids with little clue about how to do so, and had difficulty holding down a decent job...

Interview With Michael Snyder--Part 1

Michael Snyder recently signed a two-book contract with Zondervan--his first sale of a novel. He attracted Z's attention with his manuscript Russell Fink. He is now working on the second book for the contract.

I met Michael through writers' conferences and came to know him as a guy who's really serious about working on his craft and getting it to publication level. Well, he's done it! I figured what he's learned along the way just might help some of you aspiring novelists out there. Plus, his contract is one example of how Christian fiction is widening to include new territory.

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1. Okay, first up. I keep hearing the Russell Fink is about a clairvoyant dog. I know you're a bit strange, but...really. What is your book about?

Well I can say it involves a clairvoyant basset hound named Sonny. But it’s not really about him. The story deals with hope and forgiveness and finding God in unexpected places. Russell’s slightly unconventional route to these universal themes include (but are not limited to):

-A neurotic copier salesman trapped in the body of an artist

-An administrative assistant who fashions her own clothing out of Army surplus and flags from various countries

-An inventor obsessed with warmth

-A stalker with the same initials as another character

-And a few batches of whiskey biscuits (doggie treats marinated in ninety proof, baby!)

My sincerest hope is that the reader will laugh, think, and maybe even cry once or twice.

Okay, that’s just a ‘very sincere’ hope. My sincerest hope is that a lot of people will buy it so I can keep writing more books.


2. What made this book a good fit for Zondervan? Are they looking for other stories like this one? (Well, maybe without the dog …)

I’ve been encouraged—no, delighted—with what I’m hearing from Zondervan. Unless my head is filled with gauze, it sounds to me like the sky is the limit as far as what they’re willing to look at. I don’t want to speak out of turn here. But my advice is to write the story that’s burning inside you. Write it well. And it will find a home somewhere.

I hear frustration at conferences about the apparent disconnect between what editors want and what they’ll actually buy. (Heck, I’ve engaged in said conversations.) There’s probably some truth to that, but I decided not to spend a lot of time worrying about it. You can’t change the system. But you can write a killer story. Publishers want great books. I’ve met several editors who are eager to take chances. (Many of whom still told me ‘No!’) Essentially, we all have the same goal.


3. What's your "Never-Ending-Saga" in a nutshell? In other words, without going on for 60+ posts, as I did on this blog, tell us the story of your journey to publication.

In 2002 I turned to my wife (a.k.a., the prettiest girl in the whole wide world) and said, “I think I’d like to try and write a novel.” She liked this idea, likely hoping it would displace my passions for binging on Yoo-Hoo, picking fights with squirrels, and making towers out of sharp household objects. So I wrote the following: “He awoke to that smell again.” Thankfully, no one bought it.

I read 30+ books on craft, doubled my intake of great novels, wrote six or seven nights a week, and attended the Florida Christian Writer’s Conference. Gayle Roper encouraged me. Steve Laube looked at me funny.

I kept writing every night and attending conferences every year. After completing one novel and starting three others, I threw my hands in the air and quit … quit writing for the market, that is. I wrote what I wanted for a change—a series of short stories loosely based on the same ensemble of characters. Russell Fink was born.

Steve agreed to agent me at the Nashville ACFW. That was after he asked for my pitch, then systematically interrupted it with wisecracks … and yes, he still looks at me funny. Then I met Andy Meisenheimer, acquisitions editor at Z and an all-around groovy guy, at ACFW in Dallas.

I got the call a few weeks later.


4. What things did you do that most helped lead you to publication?

In order of importance…

-READ!!!

-Studied craft but refused to get all hung up on the rules. If you break them, do it with attitude.

-Read some more.

-Wrote every day, or close to it.

-Tried to spend twice as much time reading as writing. (Be a nerd! Read in line at the DMV, at stoplights, in parking lots, while your dog is making wee-wee, during boring conversations with family members you’re not all that fond of.)

-Attended at least one conference per year. Tried to remember to put people ahead of my conference goals. Publishing is a business, but if you listen you can hear its heart beating.

-Explored the world of critique groups. My critters are simply the best. And no, I’m not sharing.

-Wrote, read, wrote, read, wrote, read, ad nauseum.

-And somewhere in there I screwed up the courage to submit stuff.
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Tomorrow: Questions 5-8, beginning with:


5. Your story is decidedly different and is targeted toward the 18-34-year-old audience. Do you see more opportunities for this kind of fiction coming in CBA?
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Read Michael's blog, Gritty and Bright.

TODAY: S-Man--The Fang, Part 3

...“Beware of belittling the guide! Yi know not of whom you speak. Yea there are many who have lost sight of the way, wallowing instead in their own misery, though the guide is still there, waiting only for them to lift their eyes and follow. Others claim to follow the guide, but are naught but mockeries, following twisted paths."

Wracking coughs shook the beast, when they passed his voice had softened again. "But it is not about them that yi should be concerned, for their paths are their own. Your path lies ahead of you, it is surrounded by storms and trouble and there are many pitfalls awaiting yi...”

Best-seller Lists From Another Perspective

All right. One more post on this topic, and we’ll leave it alone for a long time—unless news hits that some changes have been made. (Advance is meeting this week in Indianapolis—and a hint has been made that we may hear something.)

In the recent issue of Aspiring Retail, editor Carrie Erickson wrote an article regarding the lists—“Discover What’s Behind the Lists.” This article, appearing in a magazine for booksellers, shows us how the lists are viewed from the retailers’ side, and how these booksellers tend to use the list.

Erickson notes that in 2003, CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) changed their book categories for the lists, based on the Christian product category—CPC—codes. It also add the Top 50 list, which combines all categories for an overall picture.

The article explains that the data are taken from STATS, which reflects actual sales in a store. But if you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that and a whole lot more. (For recent posts on the lists, go to December’s three-parter (Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3) and the January post.)

The article quotes Dean Edwards, CBA information technology director, as saying “We know retailers use these lists because we get inquiries about them when they’re posted online.” Edwards cautions stores against going overboard in using the lists for decisions on stocking books, noting that regional sales are critical to a store, and what sells in one region may not sell as well elsewhere. However, he does suggst posting the list in one’s store, to “show customers what’s hot.” And perhaps putting a book that’s consistently been high on the list on an end cap. (End caps, for those of you new to this term, are extremely important. They are found on the end of an aisle, hence the browser’s eye are more likely to fall upon these books.)

Edwards also suggests cross-promoting a bestseller with any other books that go with it, such as study guides, etc.

These suggestions are hardly rocket science, and many of you familiar with bookselling with know this already. Still, this article illustrates the point—bestsellers often beget bestsellers. If a book hits the list, esp. the top ten, booksellers pay attention. You’ve probably been in numerous stores that post the lists and pull out certain bestsellers for special placement in the store. These special placements introduce new readers to the books. Which leads to more sales. Which leads, perhaps, to another month on the list. If you follow the lists every month, you see this phenomenon. A few names tend to appear on the list over and over, with numerous books each time. These authors have reached the tipping point—and the lists have certainly helped keep the momentum going.

All this is all the more reason that our industry needs an accurate list. Because bookstores are acting as if it is accurate.

TODAY: S-Man--The Fang, Part 2

Guided by the touch of stone and probing with his sokae, Rathe followed the winding passage of the cave. He strained for any sound other than the quiet click of his claws on stone. Time distorted each second drawing out for eternity, each step a lifetime, while at the same time it seemed only moments had passed since he left the entrance.

All at once the savage sound of two creatures locked in combat rebounded through the tunnel. Rathe froze in his steps, listening as the unseen beasts tore at each other. His breath froze when he recognized words among the roars…"the only"…"abomination" and others too muddled to understand, yet clearly speech...

Picture Day

Well, hey, because it's Friday, and my posts often look mighty boring, due to lack of pictures... (Some of you have photos or graphics every day, and I admire that!) So here are a few photos of this and that from last year, just because.


Mom, my sisters and I. Sisters are in order, left to right, according to age, with Mom in middle.


My husband and I in Union Square, San Francisco at Christmas. That's the famed Macy's department store in the background, with lighted wreaths in every glass square.





Daughter Amberly and I at the Violet Dawn launch party in August.



Driving through the redwoods in the Avenue of the Giants, northern California.








Morning jog in Glacier National Park, Montana.








Plotting session with writers group at annual retreat, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho home. (Mom's in the center--playing mama to us all.)



If you have a photo on your blog you'd like us all to see, give us the link in the comments. Those of you who are so inclined can come back on the weekend and vote for your favorite.

TODAY: S-Man--The Fang, Part 1

Many of you have stated that you can’t wait until you get to read Starfire, however that day is still sometime off in the future. However, Bailey is graciously allowing me to share a short story set on Sauria here on Scenes & Beans. The Fang is sort of a prequel to Starfire. It was a piece I wrote to help me get to know Rathe, the protagonist of this story and of my novel.

I hope you enjoy this little glimpse of Sauria...

Tricia Goyer's Arms of Deliverance

Happy Thursday, BGs. Almost to the weekend!

This year I want to take time every few weeks to bring a book to your attention. I'll try to feature books from all genres, hoping to have something for everyone.

Today, in league with the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance's feature of the week, I bring you Tricia Goyer. Tricia's a pal of mine, so I can personally attest that she's a great gal and a solid, grounded woman of God. She's been a guest at our Idaho home. In fact, she's one of the crazy authors who meet at our Idaho house each year for a four-day brainstorming and play session. So it's with great joy that I see her novels released--because our writers' group often gets to help plot them.

Tricia puts a lot of hard research into her historical novels. She's interviewed dozens of World War II veterans for their stories. You can read these Unforgettable Stories from World War II on Tricia's Web site.

Tricia also writes nonfiction for the GenX generation. In fact, Tricia writes so much, and so many books a year, that she makes me look like a lazy slob.

Enough of my opinion. Here's the official word from CFBA:
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This week, the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance is posting about Arms of Deliverance (Moody Publishers, 2006) by Tricia Goyer (fellow CFBA member, blogger, writer, and homeschooling mom.)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Tricia Goyer is one the members of the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance (Tricia's Blog, "It's Real Life" Tricia's Parenting Blog, "Generation NeXt") and we are pleased to be able to review her exciting historical fiction book, Arms of Deliverance. She was named Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference "Writer of the Year" in 2003. Tricia was also a finalist for the Gold Medallion Book Award and won ACFW's "Book of the Year" for Long Historial Romance in 2005 AND in 2006. She has written hundreds of articles, Bible Study notes, and both fiction (three other WWII novels, From Dust to Ashes, Night Song and Dawn of a Thousand Nights. Night Song, the second title in Tricia’s World War II series, won ACFW's Book of the Year for Best Long Historical Romance.) She's and non-fiction books. married to John, and they have three great kids whom she homeschools: Cory (17), Leslie (14), and Nathan (12). They make their home in Northwest Montana with their dog, Lilly.

ABOUT THE BOOK:

The fourth and final novel in this exhilarating series capturing the tales of men and women swept into World War II.

EUROPE, 1944: Katrine, a Czech Jew, is so successful in her attempt to pass as an Aryan that she finds herself dating a Nazi officer. Having convinced him of her genetic purity, the officer sends her to stay at a Lebensborn home--a Nazi breeding program in which children are raised and indoctrinated by the state.

Meanwhile, two friends, Mary and Lee, one a socialite, the other a working class girl, land similar reporting jobs at the New York Tribune on the eve of the war’s outbreak. Now rivals with assignments on the frontlines of war-torn Europe, Lee joins troops sailing for Normandy, while Mary's destiny lies in the cramped quarters of a B-17 bearing down on Berlin. Before the presses roll, their lives will be indelibly marked by a caring American navigator, brave French resistors, and a maniacal Nazi officer. Arms of Deliverance is a story of unexpected redemption.

Read Chapter One on Tricia's Blog.

TODAY: Pastor Hank--Giving All Year Long

Hey there everyone. Pastor Hank here with a belated Happy New Year to all.

Well, like the rest of the Scenes and Beans bloggers, I had an after-Christmas post written, which now seems a little late. But actually, this post is about Christmas all year long...

If They Search It, They Will Come

You bloggers out there, ever looked up who’s searching what—and ended up on your site? I get such a kick out of doing that every once in awhile. I use Sitemeter, and one of its handy-dandy stats is a listing of the past 100 visitors and from where they’ve been referred. Here’s the list of searches from the first 100 visitors of yesterday, and the posts their search led them to:

1. We’re sorry, but we were unable to complete your request

Oh, boy. Somebody else out there ready to strangle google. Or was it, perhaps, a google employee, just fresh off of climbing the google wall, all set and ready to fix my Scenes and Beans blog? For lo and behold—after that rant—it’s now fixed. (First new post up today.)


2. Inexplicably and without method

A quote from the movie Stranger Than Fiction. This searcher got my own version of how this works, when I was stuck in the middle of writing Crimson Eve.


3. Violet Dawn—google images

Hm. Some curious searcher (or was it my own editor or agent) typed in these words and was led right here to the main page, since Violet Dawn is shown on the sidebar.

Wait, I know! ’Tis a Hollywood bigwig, wanting to see the cover after hearing what a dynamite movie this book would make! My agent shall be calling me any day with the multi-million dollar offer.


4. Love and sex with robots

Okay. This is one sick puppy. (Imagine the surprise when this searcher landed on a Christian blog.)


5. Bubbled, writing

Forensics and Faith comes up third in this search. What in the heck do you suppose the searcher was looking for? What he/she got was my post that ran the draft beginning to Coral Moon, and my invitation for y'all's rewrite. The “writing” part turns up in the comments.


6. Emergent church

Well, that one didn’t take long. We talked about fiction for the “emergent church” or the GenX/Y crowd, just a couple days ago. (And by the way, I agree that the two groups shouldn’t be run together as the same thing.)


7. Rappers

You gotta be kidding! Somebody got on google images and searched for this—and what picture do you suppose turns up on page 8? You think the searcher used the photo somewhere? If so, for what?? Robin Lee Hatcher, I know you’re out there, reading this. Don’t kill me. Just revel in your new reputation.


8. Dentist finds deep cavity

Ah, me. Some poor soul who heard terrible news at the dentist wants to see what’s gonna happen next. He/she wants comfort, assurance everything’s gonna be OK. Instead this searcher gets to read about all my woes at the Big Bad Dentist. Part 1 of the sordid tale is linked above. Here are Part 2 (The Call) and Part 3 (I Survived). Survival’s in the drugs, I tell ya. Take all you can get.

9. Forensic + draw + scene

Okay, I can parse this one. This searcher, no doubt looking for forensics in the technical sense, got an introduction to Annie Kingston and my Hidden Faces series in this craft post on “Keeping the Tension” in suspense.


10. Broadman and Holman, editor, good, contract

Hm. Almost sounds like this searcher was looking for my recent post on editing, which included some kudos for Karen Ball, who’s just moved to B&H. You suppose Karen was doing some ego-googling?


So...you got any better ideas as to how the searchers used one of these topics? Or perhaps you’ve found a few strange searches on your own site lately …

TODAY: Bev Trexel--New Year's Resolutions of a Retired English Teacher

Well, finally, we're back on. None of us took too kindly to our blog being hijacked. Computers. Really, I think the world was better without them. Anyway, although it's rather late now to run a New Years resolution post--it's what I had ready two weeks ago; therefore 'tis what you will get...

Your Questions For the Editor

Forensics and Faith will soon be running an interview with Sue Brower, senior fiction acquisitions editor at Zondervan. (This is in response to your suggestions from last December of interviewing editors/agents in the industry.) When I first approached Sue, I didn’t know that another wonderful blog, Novel Journey, was about to run a two-part interview with her. I held off, figuring our two blogs could work in tandem. When Sue’s interview ran on NJ, I gave you all the links to click over and read it.

So … now I suggest that you read it again. Because I am asking you to supply me with follow-up questions you’d like to ask Sue. This is a unique opportunity. Usually we read an interview and wonder, “What did she mean by that?” or “Wish she’d have taken that answer a little further…” Now here’s your chance for some dialogue. Or maybe you want to pose the burning question she was never asked.

Remember that, before becoming fiction acquisitions editor, Sue was the marketing guru at Z for a long time. So she’s highly qualified to answer questions in both categories.

Part 1 of Sue’s interview is here. Part 2 is here. Or you can simply go to NJ’s January archives and scroll down to dates Jan. 8 and 9. Please remember to come back to Forensics and Faith and leave your follow-up questions in the comments. Don’t be shy about posing hard ones!

Emergent Church Fiction

In the recent issue of Christian Retailing, editor Andy Butcher wrote an editorial about the difficulties of Christian bookstores serving the “emergent church.” This periodical is targeted to booksellers, and there’s nothing in the editorial that speaks directly to Christian fiction, but I do see connections between Butcher’s thoughts and our fiction industry.

As the pull-quote notes: “For many Gen X and Gen Y believers, their local Christian bookstore simply isn’t on the radar.”

I agree. Whether they’re buying nonfiction or fiction, twentysomethings will tend to patronize a store that offers more choices and less outward “spiritualism”—and often, a coffee shop atmosphere in which to hang out. In other words, they’ll probably choose a B&N over the local Christian bookstore.

It’s great to see that the booksellers are grappling with how to reach this segment of the market. At CBA Advance later this month, a session will be offered that examines the emergent movement and its implications for Christian publishing. Butcher opines it will “be a lively discussion.”

I don’t want to get into debates about the emergent church and its pros and cons. There are people on all sides of this issue. But the fact is, whether you believe everything these folks believe or not—they are seeking truth, and they want books to help them do so. As more nonfiction books are being written for this age group and mindset, fiction should also be considered. I know some publishers are doing this—specifically targeting the 18-34-year-olds. (By the way, I’m nowhere near an emergent church expert. However, I’m not sure that one age group makes up for 100% of the emergent church folk. But it seems most people equate the younger generation with the emergent church, and so for general purposes, I’m going along with that equation.)

The fact that booksellers and publishers are targeting this group excites me because of what it could mean for our fiction in the future. I don’t think it will negate the kinds of fiction that are now offered. The core Christian readership will always be with us—and they want a certain type of story. Serving the emergent church group should expand our market into offering different kinds and genres of fiction. For example, many in this age group might enjoy fantasy and sci-fi fiction with a Christian worldview. They’ll enjoy certain kinds of suspense and contemporaries, too. By and large, these may be stories with less overt Christian tone.

Thing is, Christian booksellers will have to figure out how to let this target audience know the books are out there to buy. And there’s the rub. Any publisher who sticks its toe in such “emergent fiction” water is going to be watching sales carefully. If the books don’t sell, houses will quickly stop publishing that kind of story. And if this targeted audience doesn’t frequent Christian bookstores, and meanwhile the B&Ns of the world house Christian fiction and nonfiction together at the back of the store… Good marketing will be essential. And I’d far rather see the books bought at Christian stores rather than B&N. Butcher is right—our stores will need to work if they want to win these folks over.

So, yes. This whole “emerging” audience could enlarge our offering of fiction. But it’s going to take everybody to make it work. Novelists at the top of their craft to write great fiction for the audience. Houses willing to publish it—and market it well to the target audience. Booksellers willing to woo these folks—while also serving the needs of their core audience—who may not like the emergents and what they stand for. Not an easy task to balance these two groups, which often seek very different atmospheres in a store.

So much for my opinion—what do you think? Does the thought of expanded fiction for the emergent church excite you? Frighten you? Make you just a little wary? What do you think such fiction will look like? Could you write it?

Rev Up the Robots

From the recent issue of Publishers Weekly comes this snippet of a recent signed deal: Harper has bought world English rights to David Levy’s nonfiction work, Love and Sex with Robots: Artificial Intelligence, Automatons, and the Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships. According to the article, Levy will “explore the burgeoning sexual subculture of companion robots and offer a prediction for the way our personal interactions with technology may soon evolve.”

There’s a burgeoning sexual subculture of companion robots? Man, where have I been?

Got me to thinking. Why couldn’t this be turned into a premise for a novel in the Christian market? Now there’s a challenge for you, BGs. Here’s mine:

A female robot, maid and companion to a stuffed animal salesman, kills him in a fit of jealousy. When she tries to hide his body in his favorite stuffed animal—the life-size gray gorilla in their TV room—she discovers the corpse of the salesman’s human wife inside—with the same face as her own … Sold to Karen Ball as her first acquisition for B&H.

The Rewrite

This week I am busy doing the rewrite for Crimson Eve, third in the Kanner Lake series. This is the book I finished last November. (It releases this coming September.)

Guess what I’m seeing. The usual suspects.

Nothing earth-shaking in the rewrite. No story structure changes, not one scene I have to throw out or redo. Everything’s basically OK, except two major issues:

1. Voice. All my characters sound too much alike. It’s my own author’s voice coming through, rather than their own. Not good.

2. Overwriting. Just too much fancy description. As I showed you in last week’s scene from Coral Moon—cut, cut, cut.

Really, the big issue is voice. As I correct the voice for each character, I naturally cut the extra description.

What astounds me is that these same issues come up every time. Why can’t I just get them right for once? Each time I write a new book, I think, “I will not over-describe, I will not over-describe.” Now look at me—cutting away.

Guess I could look on the bright side. My story structure’s strong. I don’t have trouble with pacing, dialogue, tension, POV, etc. So … man, if I could just fix the voice/description thing, I’d be great.

It’s amazing the way this process works. I let the manuscript sit after I’ve finished it. Don’t look at it at all. By the time I receive the editorial letter, at least a month has passed, usually longer. I can look at the manuscript with fresh eyes. Still, even my fresh eyes won’t see everything. Then I read something in the editorial letter—and boing! The problems just jump right out at me. Suddenly every page looks to me like a beginner wrote it. I mean it; the stuff’s awful. “Oh, sheesh, what was I thinking?”

That insightful editor is what I need to open my eyes. Can’t imagine not having a good editor. Actually, I can, and the thought isn’t pretty. Not for me or anyone else. I read too many novels that make me question where the editor was.

So my hat is off to Karen Ball this week. Sadly, this is the last time we’ll work together. Can you believe she left freelancing to take a job as fiction acquisitions editor for Broadman & Holman? Man. Leave me out in the cold, will ya.

Karen will be great for B&H. I hope after she’s been there a little while she’ll grant F&F an interview—give us an inside peek at what kinds of fiction she’s looking for.

Pardon me now while I return to fixing my horrendous writing. All you folks out there who read my novels—you can thank your lucky stars for Karen. She makes sure the writing’s good by the time it gets into your hands.

We're Sorry, But We Were Unable to Complete Your Request

Once in awhile I’m allowed to rant. First rant this year goes to Google. Who apparently has a new favorite saying for 2007: “We're sorry, but we were unable to complete your request.”

This is the response I get every time I try to post on Scenes and Beans. That’s right—my Kanner Lake marketing blog done broke, thanks to google. It hasn’t worked for the last couple weeks. Since before I switched it to the “the new, wonderful blogger, now out of beta” which google so avidly is touting. Well, guess what—the new, wonderful blogger now out of beta hijacked my blog.

Oh, you can still see it. And I can even edit past posts. I just can’t write new ones. I basically have a frozen blog. Wilbur and Jake and S-Man and all the rest of my characters are stuck somewhere out there in cyberspace, waiting to tell their stories. And don’t you love the error message? It’s so … helpful. Tells you exactly what the problem is and how you can fix it.

Not.

In fact it can cover so many things, methinks I shall adopt it.

“Would you endorse my book?” I’m sorry, but I am unable to complete your request.

“Mom, would you buy me …?” I’m sorry, but I am unable to complete your request.

“Honey, could you …?” I’m sorry, …

I have been trying to fix the blog problem—to no avail. I joined the google groups help list so I could tell them about it. Good news and bad news. The good news is—I’m not the only one with this problem. It’s apparently a glitch in the new system. The bad news is—I’m not the only one with this problem. There are perhaps 20 million other blogs out there with the same sorry message. Scenes and Beans just has to wait its turn to be fixed.

Now that isn’t what “Blogger Employee” told me last week. He/she told me my blog would be fixed—implying soon. Unfortunately since then I haven’t heard a thing. BE’s gone silent. I pop up—“Hey, remember me?” No answer.

In today’s Wall Street Journal I read a short article on google. Fortune Magazine calls it the best company in American to work for. Google dishes out great free meals, has a posh campus, and even built a handy-dandy in-house climbing wall. (Doesn’t every employee need one of those?) The place has a fun, college-like atmosphere. There’s a pajama day—which, according to WSJ, certain engineers protest by wearing tuxedos. Groups go by kid’s camp names, such as Nooglers for new employees, or Doodles.

I’m thrilled for google employees that it’s a great place to work. I don’t care if they call each other weird names and climb the walls all day. As long as somebody fixes their sorry message to Scenes and Beans. I’ll take a Noogler gal in pajamas. I’ll take a Doodle guy in a tux. Heck, I’ll take a Kit ‘n’ Kaboodle canine in a tux. Just fix my blog.

If this doesn’t happen soon, google, I’m gonna sic Wilbur on you. Then you’ll be sorry, all right.

Crows and Critters--Part 2

Before part 2 of Mama Ruth's story, a note: don't forget to visit Novel Journey for the second part of their interview with Sue Brower, senior fiction acquisitions editor at Zondervan.


Now once again, Heeeeeere's Mama Ruth!

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… I sighed. "Oh, that. It's just my noisy husband. He's in the storeroom," I pointed to two doors in a side wall, "killing rats with a hockey stick. We have too many rats in this house."

Two heads swiveled. Susan squealed, "You said 'RATS'? Big ones?"

I nodded. Susan quivered, her shoulders hunching up to her ears.

Charles's mouth fell open. "Killing rats in the storeroom. With a hockey stick." He looked totally dazed.

I couldn't help but giggle. “Don’t worry, it's an everyday affair in this house. "J.T.'s good, too. They can't get away from his flying arm fast enough. We can't keep rats out of that storeroom. They drive us batty knocking cans around in there."

"Cans? What kind of cans?"

"Big cans. We have them made in the bazaar with tight-fitting lids."

"What's in the cans?"

"Oh, foods like cheese, flour, sugar, and also panties, bras, slips, silk and nylon things. Lots of things. We put things in cans because rats will eat anything. They love nylon." I kept talking to try to make my guests feel at home. "Those rats eat all the labels off food cans, too, and sometimes we don't know what we're going to eat for supper. Whatever we open is our supper surprise. Sometimes it's gulash with meat, and sometimes it's a can of jelly. But I always make bread to go with it."

The VIP and Susan sat round-eyed, their tea growing cold.

After a minute of reverent silence, the double doors banged open and my J.T. came out carrying his hockey stick and grinning. "Got six that time!" He noticed his flabbergasted guests. "Oh. . . I didn't know we had company--I won't shake hands until I clean up."

"I'm sure you couldn't hear them with all your noise. J.T., this is Congressman Charles Crow and his wife, Susan. They got an earlier flight and came in today."

J.T. smiled at them both. "I'm sorry we didn’t know. We could have met you at the station. So nice to have a Congressman and wife as our guests. Please excuse me for a minute, I'll get a basket for the dead. MOLLI!" he called.

"Yes, Sahib," answered the gardener from outside the back door.

"Please bring in that big basket to take these dead rats out." Turning to me he said, "Honey, I'll go and clean up and then I'd like some tea and biscuits." He exited toward our bathroom, carrying his hockey stick.

Susan covered her eyes with a dainty handkerchief and leaned back against the couch.

Our barefoot, wizened gardener quietly appeared. He wore a bright red turban on his head and a once-white dothi tied around his skinny hips and bowed legs. He carried in a huge round basket; bits of grass and banyan leaves clinging to its rough insides. He disappeared into the storeroom and we heard some thuds. Molli soon reappeared, lifting the basket to the top of his turban as he padded from the room.

Susan missed the tableau, but Charles' eyes followed Molli's every move. His face showed no expression.

J.T. came back and sat at a small table. I poured a cup of tea for him and handed him two cookies. He sipped and munched.

Stout-hearted American Crow gulped, cleared his throat, and finally found his voice. "What. . . what will he do with those rats? Bury them?

J.T. shrugged. "No, we don't bother. We believe in nature's own disposition."

Stalwart American Crow asked, "How does nature do that?"

"We just throw them out by the fence. The crows will be glad to gather and eat them."

Susan moaned.

“Don’t worry,” I said cheerfully, “you won’t have to watch. We’ll have our own nice supper here in the dining room.”

Honorable American Crow managed a grim smile. All the same, something told he’d lost his appetite.

Crows and Critters--Part 1

Happy Monday, BGs. First, a note y’all won’t want to miss. After reading today’s post here, please visit Novel Journey for the first of a two-part interview with Sue Brower, fiction acquisitions editor at Zondervan. It's a very informative interview. Sue focuses on the business side of things--something we novelists need to be reminded of as we pursue our art. Art doesn't live in a vaccuum. In a few weeks I’ll be running my own interview with Sue, and we’ll be discussing in part any follow-up questions to her interview with NJ.

Now, for today and tomorrow here on Forensics and Faith—guest blogger Ruth Seamands, my mom—telling a two-part story in her own inimitable humor. (If you missed the posts about her 90th birthday party, check back to October 6 and 10.) You asked for her … you got her. Heeeeeeere’s Mama Ruth!
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Hi, everyone! My darling, beautiful, red-headed blogger Brandilyn said that some of you were interested in hearing a little more from me. Now, that's enough to stir up some parts of my old brain which have been rather dormant lately. I needed stimulation, so thanks for even thinking that I may have anything to say to you. Of course, I am full of stories. All I need is a new audience.

I'm not sure how far back or forward you'd like me to go. So methinks maybe a peek back into the late 1940s might be something different for you. This time period would put me back in India, during our days on the mission field. I can still see my big old stone house with twenty-pound langur monkeys pounding over the roof every day. Plenty of holes for the monsoons to pour through. Vast living room with ten double doors—and no screens. It was just after WWII and screen wire was not available. Lots of guests from America visiting India to "cheer up the missionaries." One day it went like this: (Names have been changed to protect the frightened.)

Somebody at my door kept clearing his throat, which was my doorbell. "Salaan, Mem-sahib." A tonga driver put his two palms together in greeting. His one-horse shay stood at my steps. "I brought you some guests from the station, Madam." He spoke in Kanarese, which told me he didn't know English. If he had, he'd have been proud to speak it.

I answered in his language. “From the station? Today?”

A portly American stepped forward, taking command off the situation, holding out his big hand to shake mine. "You're Mrs. Seamands."

I nodded. I already knew that.

“I am Congressman Charles Crow, and this is my wife, Susan."

"Oh, Congressman, I thought you were coming tomorrow. . . I could have met you in our jeep. So sorry. . .”

Mr. Crow brushed aside my apology. "It isn't your fault. We got an earlier plane."

"Well, come on in. My ayah will soon have your room ready. Meanwhile, please sit here and I'll get us some tea."

They nodded and smiled and sat on my droopy couch while I paid the tonga walla and dismissed him. Turning to my guests, I hoped to make them feel welcome. "It’s so nice to have you visit us from America. I do get lonely for home folks sometimes." I brought in the tea tray. Strong Indian tea, boiled with milk, spices, and whole cardamom seeds. "Estation tea," we call it because that's what we always get on trains at every station. "Here you are." I passed them large cups full of this special tea. "And try some of these biscuits--uh, cookies. The British out here call them biscuits, but they are American oatmeal cookies. I just made them."

They both seemed quite thirsty. "This is very good tea--and I love the cookies," exclaimed Susan. "I never dreamed I'd have oatmeal cookies in India." They put their cups back on the tray.

I was pouring a second cup when an enormous black-faced, white-mouthed monkey loped from the guest room through the corner of my great living room, and out the front door. Susan Crow’s eyes bulged. She screamed, quickly covered her mouth with one hand and lifted both feet off the floor. "D---do they live here with you?"

"Not with my permission! Don't worry about that monkey, Susan. He's probably as scared of you as you are of him. Because we don't have any screens yet, they sneak into the bathrooms when they find outside doors open. They like to eat the soap."

"Eat the SOAP?" they echoed in unison, their cultural horizons widening with every passing second.

I shrugged. "I guess it's because they don't have any toothpaste."

Charles Crow boomed--if a crow can boom, "Eat the soap? I thought that monkey had rabies! He was foaming at the mouth."

"No, they like soap. Sorry, you will probably find teeth prints on your new bar of soap. It was my last one. Just keep your outside bathroom door closed."

Susan quavered, "M--maybe it's not a good time to stay here, Charles."

He patted her shoulder and whispered, "We'll face it together, Dear."

I smiled at them, remembering how I first felt when I came to India, to this place, and faced all the critters I now encountered every day. "Don't worry, it's a good time. This is usually a pretty quiet place—”

Before I could finish defending my living quarters, we heard a great crash and yell coming from the wall. That was followed by a series of heavy whacking sounds and more shouts. Susan whimpered and drew her feet off the floor again. "Char--Charles. . .!"

The rotund VIP, skilled at taking charge of any trouble, jumped straight up. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

I sighed. "Oh, that. It's just my noisy husband. He's in the storeroom," I pointed to two doors in a side wall, "killing rats …”

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Read Part 2

News on Data-Gathering for Bestseller List

Sigh. The topic that never quite goes away.

The January 1 issue of Christian Retailing reports that the data-gathering boondoggle between CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) and ECPA (Evangelical Christian Publishers Association) is inching closer to a “merger agreement.” Let’s hope so. When these two organizations come to terms on this issue, perhaps we can finally have more accurate bestseller lists.

Background, for those who have joined us lately: Last November 15, during a four-parter on bestseller lists in both the Christian and secular markets, I ran a letter I wrote to CBA, questioning what was happening with our industry’s data-gathering that comprises the lists, and the CBA spokesperson’s response. (Paraphrase of that response: yes, we are working on it; look for news from CBA Advance in January.) These November posts were a follow-up to my series of posts on the subject beginning May 6 of last year. In that series I explained our industry’s various data-gathering mechanisms: ECPA’s STATS; CBA’s new answer to it, called CROSS:SCAN; and ECPA’s back-atcha answer to that in the form of PubTrack, a service originally scheduled to launch June 2006. PubTrack was supposed to be an advanced version of STATS that “includes security measures intended to allay retailers’ fears about shared data,” according to Christian Retailing.

But PubTracks never launched. The Christian Retailing article says it was delayed while talks between CBA and ECPA continued. Representatives from both organizations met in November. Mark Kuyper, ECPA President, is reported as saying that the two groups are “closer to an agreement than we have ever been.” However, apparently more negotiations are still needed.

The article doesn’t mention anything being announced at Advance, which begins January 27 in Indianapolis. So perhaps the letter I received from CBA hinting at such is the most recent word on the subject. We’ll see. Meanwhile, the January fiction bestseller list, reflecting sales in the month of November, was just posted in the last day or two. This list is still based on STATS, to which many stores don’t report, and once again it’s so late. (Do they really need to take five to six weeks to compile data from November sales?)

I won’t be attending Advance, but I will be listening for word on any more news. I would sure love to see this issue resolved. If any of you BGs knows anything more on this subject … do tell.

Editing for Tighter Writing--Part 2

Thanks to all you “brave souls” (to quote Kristy Dykes from yesterday’s comments) who edited yesterday’s passage. Today I give you the final as it will appear in Coral Moon. If you’re game, as an editing exercise you might want to print out both and look at them side by side. You may agree with some things I did and disagree with others. Of course, this is not your writer’s voice; it’s mine. So there are bound to be places of disagreement.

First, the scene. Then I’ll point out a few things.
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Kill tonight—or die.

The words burned, hot acid eating through his eyes, his brain. Right down to his soul.
Only a crazy person would obey.

He slapped both hands to his ears, squeezed hard against his head. Screwed his eyes shut. He hung there, cut off from the world, snagged on the life sounds of his body. The whoosh of breath, the beat of his heart.

The words boiled.

His skull hurt. He pulled his hands away, let them fall. The kitchen spun. He dropped into a chair, bent forward, and breathed deeply until the dizziness passed.

He sat up, looked again to the table.

The note lay upon the unfolded Kanner Lake Times newspaper, each word horrific against the backdrop of a coral crescent moon.

How did they get in here?

What a stupid question. As if they lacked stealth, as if mere walls and locked entrances could keep them out. He’d been down the hall in the bedroom watching TV, door wide open, yet had heard nothing. Hadn’t even sensed their presence as he pushed off the bed and walked to the kitchen for some water.

A chill blew over his feet.

His eyes bugged, then scanned the room. Over white refrigerator and oak cabinets, wiped-down counters and empty sink. To the threshold of the kitchen and into the hallway. There his gaze lingered as the chill worked up to his ankles.

It had to be coming from the front of the house.

His skin oozed sweat, a web of sticky fear spinning down over him. Trembling, he pulled himself out of the chair. He clung to the smooth table edge, ensuring his balance. Then, heart beating in his throat, he forced himself across the floor, around the corner, and toward the front door.

It hung open a few inches.

They were taunting him...
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Overall, I hope you’ll see how cutting certain words left the ones that really count. The ones that make you see, hear, feel the scene. For example, his original line: His skin oozed sweat, sticky fear spinning down over him like the web of a monstrous spider. In the rewrite, it becomes: His skin oozed sweat, a web of sticky fear spinning down over him. Changing the simile to a metaphor cuts words and leaves what’s important. …like the web of a monstrous spider isn’t needed at all. We all know where webs come from. Besides, the words sticky, spinning and web make us focus on the sweat-oozing fear, which is the point of the sentence—not the visual of some large spider making its lair.

When I serve on critique staff at writer’s conferences (such as at Mt. Hermon), manuscript after manuscript is brought to me for on-the-spot critiquing. Invariably, I see the need for cutting. Right there, I’ll show the author how to delete the unnecessary words. “See—if you take this away, and this, how your scene now zings? All the extraneous has been thrown off, and the verbs and adjectives that matter can shine.” This kind of exercise is one I go through with every book—in fact every edit stage of every book. It’s something I’ll keep practicing all my life. Hone, hone, hone.

The other thing you might notice is the breaking up of paragraphs for stronger beats. The paragraph His eyes bugged … goes from one in the original draft to three in the final. A new beat is introduced by the beginning of a paragraph. In the original, three beats were all stuck in one paragraph: his reaction to the chill and his searching for its source, his realization that it was coming from the front of the house, his pushing aside of fear and forcing himself to get up and go investigate. One of the “brave editing souls” from yesterday suggested that this line be cut: There his gaze lingered as the chill worked up to his ankles. In the weaker, three-beat-in-one paragraph, it did seem superfluous and slowing to the action. However, when I broke the paragraph into its three distinct beats, and each one then became stronger, I purposely kept that sentence as a way to draw out that first beat and add tension. I could picture this guy buggy-eyed, looking through the threshold as far as he could see, wondering what might lie beyond it.

I didn’t see the need for this paragraph edit until the rewrite stage, when I’d let the manuscript sit a month and could look at the scene with fresh eyes. Point to remember--sometimes the best edit isn’t always just cutting, or isn’t always the first fix that comes to mind.

Of course, editing’s never done. I could probably look at this scene right now and still make changes. But reality is, I have a schedule to keep. Writing to contract means doing the best I can in the time I’ve given myself (after all, I do set my deadline schedule), and then moving on to the next book. But always learning. Always learning.

Editing for Tighter Writing

Today and tomorrow, an editing lesson from my own work. (Which always needs editing. Badly.)

On November 16, 2005, I ran the first page of the prologue to Coral Moon and invited your comments. (Coral Moon is the next book in the Kanner Lake series. Its release date is March 23—meaning the date it starts shipping from the Zondervan warehouse. It’s called an “April pub” since it will start showing up on shelves in April.)

I’m going to run that original draft copy again today, then show you the final edited version tomorrow. Here’s the original:

Kill and live. Let live—and die.

The words burned. Through his retinas, into his brain, back, back, to the innermost center of neurons and synapses. There they bubbled and frothed like hot acid, eating away at his soul.

Only a crazy person would follow this command.

He slapped both hands to his ears, cradled his head. Pushed in, squeezing, until the pressure battled the pain inside. His eyes screwed shut, mind pleading for the horrific message to be gone when they reopened. He hung there, cut off from the outer world, attention snagging on the life sounds of his body. The whoosh of breath, the beat of his heart.

The words boiled.

Soon the pressure grew too great to bear. He pulled his hands away, let them fall to his sides. The kitchen spun. He edged to a chair and dropped into it. Bent forward and pulled in air until the dizziness passed. Clutching hope, he turned his gaze once again to the table. The note was still there.

How did they get in here?

His shoulders slumped. What a stupid question. As if they lacked stealth, as if mere walls and locked entrances could keep them out. He’d been down the hall in his bedroom watching TV, the door wide open, yet had heard nothing. Hadn’t even sensed their presence as he pushed off the bed and walked with blithe ignorance to the kitchen for some water.

A chill blew over his feet.

His eyes bugged, then slowly scanned the room. Over white refrigerator and oak cabinets, wiped down counters and empty sink. To the threshold of the kitchen, leading into the hallway. There his gaze lingered as the chill worked his way up to his ankles. It had to be coming from the front of the house. His skin oozed sweat, sticky fear spinning down over him like the web of a monstrous spider. Trembling, he pulled himself out of the chair. For a moment he clung to the smooth table edge, ensuring his balance. Then slowly, heart beating in his throat, he forced himself across the floor, around the corner, through the hall and toward the front door.

It hung open a few inches.

His breath caught. They were taunting him . . .

How would you edit this passage? Go on, take a stab at it. The final, which you’ll see tomorrow, doesn’t have anything new added except for one important phrase of info that ties to the title. Of course, you wouldn’t know how to edit this in. But other than that, this is an exercise in editing out. The weakness in my drafts is that I’ll tend to overwrite. In editing—and remember, we’re talking numerous stages of edits here—I’ll delete, delete, trying to hone down the writing to the tightest possible. You’ve heard that old adage “less is more.” That’s so often true in writing. Too many words of description weight the action. Take away every unnecessary word--even those that are showing action--and the scene will zing a whole lot more.

Of course, this is easier said than done. When I first turn in the finished manuscript to the editor, I have a month or longer to wait before receiving the editorial letter. In that time I don’t look at the book at all. So when I do the rewrite, I have those all-important “fresh eyes.” Amazing what needed edits those fresh eyes will see that the ol’ tired eyes, who’d read and reread the words a hundred times, could not.

Those of you who are game, go ahead and edit a few paragraphs. I’m used to it. :]

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Read Part 2

Starting 2007 Off Right

Happy new year, BGs!

Many thanks to those of you who left comments and emailed me, saying you missed your daily F&F read. What a blessing and encouragement you all are.

Well, I rested over the holidays. And I sorely needed it. I feel like a different person now, ready to jump in and do the work I need to do. I have some friends who had to write like crazy right through Christmas and New Years. That’s lousy, if you ask me.

Let’s start off 2007 with Psalm 18. Great psalm to pray in the new year. Go ahead—pray it aloud. Praise God and ask Him to bless and protect you this year. As usual, this is in the BPV (Brandilyn’s Prayer Version), which is taken from the New American Standard. Since it’s a fairly long psalm, I’m covering verses 1-3,16-36, and 46-50.

I love you, O Lord, my strength.
You are my rock, my fortress, my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge.
My shield, the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon You, Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.

God, You sent from on high. You took me.
You drew me out of many waters.
You delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But you, Lord, have been my stay.
You have brought me forth into a broad place.
You rescued me because You delighted in me.

Lord, please reward me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands, recompense me.
For I have kept Your ways,
And have not wickedly departed from You.
All Your ordinances are before me,
And I’ve not put away Your statutes from me.
I want to be blameless before You,
And keep myself from iniquity.
Recompense me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands in Your eyes.

With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
With the pure You show Yourself pure;
And with the crooked You show Yourself astute.
For You save afflicted people,
But haughty eyes You abase.
You light my lamp.
You, Lord God, illumine my darkness.
By You I can run upon a troop.
By You I can leap over a wall.

Your way is blameless,
Your word is tried.
You are a shield to all who take refuge in You.
Who is God, but You, Lord?
And who is a rock, except You?
God, You gird me with strength
And make my way blameless.
You make my feet like hinds’ feet,
And set me upon my high places.
You train my hands for battle
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You have given me the shield of Your salvation,
And Your right hand upholds me.
Your gentleness makes me great.
You enlarge my steps under me,
And my feet have not slipped.

Lord, You live, and blessed be my rock,
And exalted be the God of my salvation.
You will execute vengeance for me
And subdue those who are against me.
Deliver me from my enemies, Lord.
Lift me above those who rise up against me.
Rescue me from violent men.
And I will give thanks to You among the nations, O Lord.
I will sing praises to Your name.
You give great deliverance to me.
Show me, as your anointed, much lovingkindness, Lord,
To me and to my descendants—forever.

Can I get an "Amen!" witness out there?