Tuesday, June 02, 2009

How My Family Went to Pot

Looks like my family has finally gone to pot. We're feeling rather flushed about all the attention. It was enough to cause a scene in Mom's retirement village. Now everyone's talking.

My mother and sisters can blame it all on me. As usual.

Every year I do a family calendar full of pictures from the year as a Christmas present to my various extended family members. (You can have them printed up at Kinkos, or now I use the great calendar software on hubby's Mac, and Apple prints it. Either way calendars are about $30/apiece.) So ... I'm always on the lookout for the next great new pic of mom and her daughters when we all get together.

A few weeks ago I went to Wilmore for the book launch party for Exposure. The first day I was there Mom and I ate lunch in the dining room at her retirement village. (And yes, we tootled over in style in Ruth's Rocket.) At the table Mom happily told everyone the scoop on what's going on in her next-door neighbor's garage. The neighbor doesn't own a car, and the village uses her garage for storage. For, among other things, toilets.

That's all I needed. "Mom, we have to get a picture of the five of us on those things for the 2010 calendar!"

"Oh, that's a great idea!" Mom couldn't wait. But then Mom's always up for anything.

(Mom, parasailing eight years ago at age 84.)

We waited for a few days until more family arrived. After dinner we all traipsed next door and asked the neighbor if we could borrow her toilets. Not something she's asked every day. She managed to keep a poker face as she opened up her garage. There sat the thrones in all their splendor.

Oh, yes. The five of us were carrying copies of Exposure. What else?

Nephew Scott, recent film school graduate, was put in charge of taking the photos. "Okay," he ordered, "first we move all the toilets out to the driveway."

Out they came, one by one. Lined up like soldiers.

By this time one neighbor was peeking out her window. The man across the street came out and sat down on his porch to watch the show. He was having a grand ol' time--about ready to make some popcorn--when his wife made him come inside. Party pooper.

The potties were a little dirty. We put down paper towels to sit on. We tried to get the work done in between bouts of laughter. We could feel the neighbors's eyes peering at us from up and down the street. All shaking their heads. "That Ruthie. What is she up to now? ..."

Once we got the toilets lined up we started talking about who sat where. Mom suddenly got cold feet. "Well, I'm not sitting down 'til the rest of you do!"

We all shuffled ... and sat.
Books up, ankles crossed like the gentlewomen we are. (It is a little hard to act sophisticated on a driveway pot.)

I don't know what that stain is at Mom's feet, but it looks like she didn't quite make it in time.

Back shot, queens on their thrones.

It's gonna be hard topping this scene for calendar 2011. I'm already thinking up ideas that'll bowl my family over. Keeping a lid on it for now, though.

Winning Caption for Photo Friday: "A book release potty was the unfortunate result of Brandilyn's 3 a.m. invitation writing." --Ron Estrada

Congrats, Ron! E-mail me for your choice of book.


Deborah said...

"I don't know what that stain is at Mom's feet, but it looks like she didn't quite make it in time."

LOL!!! That's what i was thinking everything i saw the photo!!!

Anette Acker said...

That's pretty hilarious! Love the picture of your mom parasailing, too!

Linda said...

Loved the 'back shot, queens on their thrones.' Sure wonder what the neighbors thought!

Domino said...

After all the excitement, did you feel a little flushed?

Renae said...

This is hilarious! You should sell autographed copies of the calendar at your book table . . . ;-)

Anonymous said...

I say..."Eliminate and concentrate"

Fliterary said...

ROFL! I LOVE this! What a hoot. Thank you for sharing!

Sheila Deeth said...

I love the winning caption, and the additional pictures! What a fun story.

LEE said...

I just loved it! I wish I had been there that day! I wouldn't have shooed my husband in; I would have joined him on the porch! What a hoot!! Can't wait to see what you come up w/ for 2011.